2001-3000 Worst Things To Do While Playing Chess

2073. Setting a mouse on an icecube without providing a warm coat for it to wear.

2704. ...which has everything to do with chess! Notice I'm not posting this on the 2001-3000 Worst Things To Do While Setting a Mouse on an Icecube thread?

Now I see how you win the spelling bees year after year, twighead...

 I won the spelling bee at my school, but for the regional bee I got impossible words and i didnt have enough time to study all of them

Yeeeeah, eye tooo one miy spieling be out may skool, buttfour thuu reejunal be I goottt Eenglishh werdes, butt theywas alll Greek 2 mee soo eye joust plahyed chest isnstead.

Chi knees.  There, I just spoke chi knees.

(Terrorbull, just terrorbull...)

Wait! Make that chai knees.  Whew!  For a minute there, I thought I
had a spieling prooblem and eat was a pronounciashun prooblem all along.

You am so stoopid!! Don't tell me I am beautiful!! Well, no - go ahead and tell me I am beautiful; it's okay.

2705. Asking the cashier at your local pawn shop if he has fifteen chess-piece-sized coffins you can purchase for your upcoming tournament and a king-sized porta-potty. He replies, "Nope, we only sell pawns here."
"Well, have you any dino-biscuits then, my good sir?" 

I know Chinese! I'm Chinese, and don't call me a idiot.....

Well, good; I enjoy chai and knees both, but don't call me Prince Myshkin; my name is not Dostoyevsky! The name is Dude: ChessPlayinDude47, and I am a British spy who pretends to be Greek; let's be frank and ernest, shirley you can do that - don't make me be both frank and ernest - I don't have multiple personality disorder - you stay out of this, Shirley.

Oh, and one more thing, never call me Shirley.

2706. Dunking and drinking a dank, drank, had been drunken DrDukiPepper while snorting up a puked up, pickled down, pecked down, petered out, crunked up Tucumcari cuke with a kook, oh wouldn't you like to be a DrDukiPiperPepper-in-a-diaper too, Duke boys, kook boys?

2707. Only two little numerals, but so many combinations:

47                          
747474747474
7474
474747
747474
47474747
olives, garlic, pepperoni, extra cheese
74747474
4747474747
7474747474 

Lol. now all someone has to do is use google translate to translate smething

2708. Hack ChessPlayinDude47's account. BTW, if you dont see this on your own computer, it's cuz i changed it back.

But Smething tells me that this may not work... Has anyone else spoken with Smething? Y'all don't wanna call me 唐納德·特朗普, don't call me late for dinner, and Shirley, don't call me Smething. 

I actually do know Chinese though...

Well, I'd learn it, but I hear that after you've started, it's too hard to Finnish.

由area hairy gorilla. google translate: brilliant!

I try to google translate the English for "whatevs" (meaning "whatever") and when you type "whatevs" in Chinese it comes back as "I hate vs" in English!

Google translate seems to know little about hairy gorillas - whatevs...