XoJIo4eLI_N_Bo4Ka wrote:
3581. Disarming a live bomb
3583. Removing the arms from your opponent, no - not his weapons, not his chess pieces, his actual arms, and then dissing them before bombing them.
2826-4000 Worst Things To Do While Playing Chess
Sort:
3585. Now is your chance to create a very solid, hard to penetrate defense in your chess game! Just follow these steps to success!
a. Dig the trench in the sixth rank two feet below the frost line and extra wide. Make sure the trench extends just beyond the a and h files of your chessboard.
b. Prepare it with landscaping fabric overlapped 1 foot at the seams, adding a six inch layer of ¾-inch stone.
c. Tamp it with a plate compactor.
d. Add and tamp more layers until the footing is about eight inches below grade.
e. About a foot beyond each end of a straight wall section, drive two stakes, separated by a distance equal to the width of the wall.
f. Connect the stakes with a mason's line set just above grade.
g. Place the first stone at a corner with its face grazing the line. Position the next stone against the first, face to the line, and so on until the first course is laid. Repeat on the opposite side.
h. Fill between the two rows with smaller stones, set flush with the tops of the face stones. Top this course with a bed of mortar.
i. Reposition the line higher up the stakes and start the second course from a corner. Dry-fit each stone first to see that the vertical joints are staggered and the outside faces just touch the line. Remove the stone, spread a trowelful of mortar on the wall, and tamp the stone into it with a mallet. The face stones' visible edges should rest only on stone, not mortar, so scrape away any mortar that squeezes out.
j. Eventually, you'll have to cut a stone to make it fit. Use a wax pencil to mark the sections of the stone you want to remove. (For this wall, the goal is to keep the joints tight, less than 1 ½ inches wide.) To make cuts, you'll need a 3-inch carbide chisel, a 3-pound hand sledge, and safety glasses.
k. Cut the stone: place the marked stone on the ground, waste-side down. Set the chisel's carbide tip on the wax-pencil line, and aim it slightly downward. Strike the chisel once, then reposition it so that the blade is half on the score you just made and half on fresh stone. Strike it again and repeat until the waste pops off.
l. Tool the joints: trowel the joints between the capstones with a brick jointer, making them slightly concave to channel away water. On hot, dry, or windy days, mist the wall with water as you work so that the mortar cures slowly and completely. Finish by applying a wedge of concrete along the base course, front and back, to keep the wall from shifting. Use a brick trowel to make each wedge 6 inches high and 12 inches wide. Hide them with backfill.
Congratulations, folks, you have just built the perfect Stonewall defense in your chess game!
Psssst, kids, beware of the horse who jumps walls, for he is not welcome in our kingdom.
Seriously, Don't Put Wasp Nests In Your Vagina | IFLScience
4 days ago - Doctors (and common sense) are warning against a pseudoscientific practice that involves eating and putting mushed up oak galls into the vagina, claiming it's an “organic” way to clean, heal, and tighten the vagina.
3586 doctors conclude that my burnt vagina is generally bad that's why i fly by the tails of my feathers where they can't get to me because once they get in my brain the tapeworms will be evicted uns so weiter*
* - jne (in Finnish)
3587. Burying the poopoo in the water before the poopoo hits the fan and trajects onto the chessboard. Come on, kids, you must know you can't bury the poopoo in water if the water is see-through?
"Okay, these posts really have been getting worserer. Or no! Betterer! Hey Sandy, grab me some sunscreen and toilet paper and some Worcestershire sauce, woulja? I'm just wasting away out here in the sun...Hey, it's not my fault that our toilet is Baroque."
"No prob, Bob, you limbless, skinless, boneless, chinless, chicken - er, listless ranter, you - you dirty old Grand Poobah."
3588. SpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpamSpam
3589. Having the batteries die in your bluebird for the last 24 months or so, so you could not post on this thread. Replenished the batteries I hope? Are you surprised this thread is still going?
MapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMapsMaps
As is finding the mops for the Spam and the spam for the Map-finders, as if...
No more mapping
no more moping
no more crying
cause Spam's revolting
put your batteries in
and you'll do some probing
cause when they die
your charge is thin
you'll try to fly
like a bluebirdbattery in the sky
you won't come and sing with my
Worcestershire sauce, Grapemate, and why.
3592. Not logging into chess.com
What are we if not a dusty gas station
by the side of the road in the middle of
the hot Nevada desert?
No gas.
No one comes by here much except for
an occasional weary passer-by on his way
to Las Vegas. The type of weary passer-by
that would, perhaps, swim with a computer
while yelling, "Harry Potter Parakeet!" and
without logging into chess.com because
there is no wi-fi reception out here in these
parts of this village called 2826-4000 Worst
Places to Live While Playing Chess.
I have bergamot in my millet, though, and have
mail-ordered for a fresh bottle of Worcestershire
Sauce. In the meantime, I wait, patiently, and eat
dirt sauce and tumbleweeds.
3599. Eating a sandwich and making "A Sandwich" freak out.
3594. Laying (alternate French spelling: Lessing) Miserables on the chessboard while it is your opponent's turn no matter how much Victor Hugo approves. You gonna lay some chicken eggs on there?
that one should be 3595
3596. Getting knightmares
Scratch your toes and then touch your opponent' expensive ebony pieces and press his Vtek 300 clock with your toe smelly fingers.
3597 drinking whiskey, playing chess and losing like a person with mental disabilities
call me when you get to 3845 man
Head to the bread
before you are dead.
Why had he fled
to the bread sled?
To get some bread.
It's what I said
and what you read.
Don't need no med.
Just need my bread
with cheese of ched(dar).
Helps my alveolar bed -
I then blush red -
on this here thread.
I'll go get read(y)
to eat some bread
and thanks much, twighead...
Comment approved by Ned.
3599. Playing* Lou Ferrigno in a game of chess (that's right: pretending your doppelgänger is The Incredible Hulk...) and then getting him angry - why didn't you know his white chess pieces will turn green and, then, you are color-blind aren't you?
Fast forward to 1:20 (if need be - i.e., if you are an impatient little twat) to watch the transformation!
* - playing - pretending you are the actor, that is, but a dou·ble en·ten·dre...
3582. Making some Ikagoro Ika No Shiokara for your opponent, but forgetting the Worcestershire Sauce/Grapématé/Shoyu blend.
My mantra has always been: you ain't the boss when you forget the sauce, hoss*.
* -hoss - a knight disguised as a young horse or squid.
...and just look at this young man's complexion post-sauce... Omigosh, yeah!