chess jokes
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not that funny...
I grinned.
ok here is one i learned a while ago from an oppenent : Thee was two chess grandmasters bragging to eachother of how good they were and they were doing tis in a hotel and the hotel manager comes in and say leave and they ask why and he say i dont want to chess nut boasting in an open foyer
svna91 wrote: not that funny...
svna91 is merely angry because he doesn't have any jokes.
mackandstella wrote: ok here is one i learned a while ago from an oppenent : Thee was two chess grandmasters bragging to eachother of how good they were and they were doing tis in a hotel and the hotel manager comes in and say leave and they ask why and he say i dont want to chess nut boasting in an open foyer
lol!
Why did the pawn cross the board?
To become a Queeeeen! Haaay!
Once during an international tournament, in which the most illustrious players in the world were participating, a strange looking fellow introduced himself to the great Cuban, who was no doubt expecting another plea for an autograph, and told him that he had solved chess. You can imagine the look on Capablanca's face who immediately began to turn away just in case the man wasn't just crazy, but violent as well. Still, the strange insistent man then pulled a thousand dollars from his pocket and told Capablanca it would be his if he could avoid being mated in twelve moves. Well, crazy or not, a thousand dollars is a thousand dollars, so he accepted and obligingly followed the man to his room.
The game started simply enough, but after a couple of strange moves, as soon as move eight, the position began to look menacing, and to his absolute shock, Capablanca saw his King being mated on the twelfth move. His eyes were bulging, he couldn't believe it, and he insisted that they start over. This time he tried a completely different opening, one that could never lead to that same position, but just as before, after a few strange moves, with no possible counter, he found himself checkmated again. Something was wrong, he must have made some very obvious mistake, but he couldn't see where, so he told the fellow to wait, and 20 minutes later he came back with both Lasker, and Alekhine. Lasker seemed dubious about the whole idea before the game began, and played a slow and very defensive opening, yet twelve moves later, in front of an equally incredulous Alekhine, he too saw his King surrounded.
"It was terrible, and embarrassing", Capablanca told his friend, but no matter what opening they tried, no matter what they did, they were always checkmated after twelve moves. What were they going to do? They were the best in the world and yet now it was all over: chess had been solved.
"But I never heard that chess was solved. What did you do? What happened?" his friend asked.
"Why we killed him, of course."
The game started simply enough, but after a couple of strange moves, as soon as move eight, the position began to look menacing, and to his absolute shock, Capablanca saw his King being mated on the twelfth move. His eyes were bulging, he couldn't believe it, and he insisted that they start over. This time he tried a completely different opening, one that could never lead to that same position, but just as before, after a few strange moves, with no possible counter, he found himself checkmated again. Something was wrong, he must have made some very obvious mistake, but he couldn't see where, so he told the fellow to wait, and 20 minutes later he came back with both Lasker, and Alekhine. Lasker seemed dubious about the whole idea before the game began, and played a slow and very defensive opening, yet twelve moves later, in front of an equally incredulous Alekhine, he too saw his King surrounded.
"It was terrible, and embarrassing", Capablanca told his friend, but no matter what opening they tried, no matter what they did, they were always checkmated after twelve moves. What were they going to do? They were the best in the world and yet now it was all over: chess had been solved.
"But I never heard that chess was solved. What did you do? What happened?" his friend asked.
"Why we killed him, of course."
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Chessmaniac2000 wrote:
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people are so weird sometimes.
Alex_M wrote: people are so weird sometimes.
come on.... we play with wood pieces search the Internet to move differently and pretend we see things out of wood blocks not sometimes all the time.
ha ha. I guess you're right.
neneko, THANK YOU for making my day. I think I had heard it in the past, but it was still great.
Neneko, that's a good one.
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In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say:
"What a clever dog!"
But the man protests:
"No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
Please post more jokes!