Why did the rook go up the board?
To do the ladder mate! #worstjokeever
🙄
Chess Puns?
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I’m not a clown but here’s 1.
Why did the rook go up the board?
To do the ladder mate! #worstjokeever
🙄
Why did the rook go up the board?
To do the ladder mate! #worstjokeever
🙄
A chess player played his last game of the day. Before he made the winning move
He said "GoodKnight"
Chessterday was July first. I'd pawn it off as no biggie, but that wouldn't be accepted by society. The "king" would check if I messed up, mate, and he'd find out I did.
Nigel "Short" in his bid to become FIDE President!
To move, or not to move. That is the question.
billwall wrote:
I prefer a little knight music when I try to think about chess pawns, uh, puns.
When I am about to resign to some mate, I check the board one more Short time before I throw in the Tal. The game is Tarrasch by then. I usually then throw the pieces to the Flohr, but then who Keres? I give my opponent the Bird and walk off.
Here's rooking at you, kid. I'll have Nunn of that, those sons of bishops.
Ehlvst has left the building. He is now Miles away.
Wow, that is FUNNY. 🤣🤣😂😅😂🤣😂😅😂
Barto62 wrote:
Although this is not chess related it is one of my favorites.
I once entered a pun writing contest. I wrote ten puns to improve my chances of winning, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
I’ve seen this 1.b4
"It will be Short and it will be short!" - said Garry Kasparov to press before the World Championship match Kasparov - Short in 1993. Kasparov won the match by crushing score 12.5 - 7.5 (+6-1=13).
What's it called when a girl is happy with a massive pawn shield in front of her king? Back-rank mating season.
What do you call 1. h4 2. Rh3? The rookie lift.
Which opening is Hikaru's true favorite? The Ben-Oni.
What opening do maggots learn first? The Grub opening.
A fast food enthusiast annotated an endgame when Black advanced his king, discovering a check to the enemy king, all under time pressure: Ke7 ch. U.P.
Ben Finegold walked up to the bomb site, waved an English flag and said "the bomb has been planted".
As a spectator passed by my game against a hustler, he made a remark about my double-pawn-supported sixth-rank-outposted horse. I replied "sweet dreams" to him. He was confused.
My bisexual friend always complains about the stores he goes to. He says all bishops are decorated with the same color. (Obligatory no offense so I don't get attacked by SJW police with tempo)
Wondering why the above puns got worse as time went by? Well I also wonder why I don't know how to pronounce Korchnoi. I bet if I knew, I'd be able to make something good out of it.
In High School our chess team had T-Shirts made with these sayings:
Chess players mate better!
Chess player have better knights!
Do you know what chess players and clocks have in common?
They both have hands, and they both move one step at a time.
Wait a minute... well they definitely move one step at a time...
You know what blitz and poker have in common?
Shuffling hands.
Hands huh, seriously.
You know those players that love to hammer clocks. They hit them so hard. It's like jeez, what are you trying to do - stop time.
You know Alapin was crazy. You shout at the pawn to clear the way, bring the horse to e2 for the king, and then you decide - nah, the kings not riding out today. It's like - what was that for?
You know those old chess sets missing a piece or two? If you ever threw one away you're going to feel real stupid right now. Just use it as an ornament and resume a master game. If you're missing two queens then choose a master position that fits the profile. That's some real advice, no jokes.
You know when I read that the boss was looking for some puns I thought to myself, "that guy is on some crazy stuff."
You ever hear somebody say, "pssst! You looking for puns, man?"
Nope. That stuff doesn't come by easily.
You ever heard of ChessBling? Oh no it's not a chess site or anything like that, but it's on urban dictionary.
It's when you take out your metal chess set on a sunny day, polish the heck out of it, then put on some shades and challenge someone to a game.
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You know how I know that chess came before lightbulbs?
You always put your lantern right before you, right on the right. The board literally has a guide on where to place your lantern.
Thank you.