chess rap

Brilliant!

Yeah, I totally agree! My favorite lines was "cause I'm fly like a g6, Accelerated Dragon." Man, that was absolutely brilliant!

A challenge?

Well like your Queen's gambit I accept.
Im about to take this to the Flohr
Tear you raps apart, care to be shown to the door?
You know your way around a square or two, but I own all sixty-four

That was probably enough, but wait there's more!, its about to pick up but for now lets keep it slow and tight.

You shouldn't have picked this fight, it's going to be a disaster,
Huh? what's that?
You Want to go faster!?!...
Well I can include any master, What!? YOU Can't tell!?, check this dirt,Pacin' cause timing is key

Lionel Adalbert Bagration Felix Kieseritzky

Ok, I went a bit double Helix, yeah maybe it was a little complicated,
but safe to say that you just got slated.

A lot of cool rhymes here, but some advice to those new to rap...

1. Try not to rhyme single sylable words and instead focus on rhyming SOUND groups comprised of more than one sylable.

2. To make your rhyme more complex add inner rhymes before the rhymes at the end of the bar.

For example; "From g2 I see through the light squares to Kazakhstan,

                    A white knight from steeples was born from a Catalan"  

So in this example, the main rhymes of the bar are from the sound "aa-aan" (in bold), but the inner rhymes are "g2", "see through", "steeples".

None of the rhymes are basic (read; boring) single sylable rhymes (cat, hat, sat... door, whore, more) etc.

This is rhyming 101, hope you get something from it. 

Also, you dont NEED to add the inner rhymes, but at least make the main rhymes in the bar (at the end of the line) more than one sylable...

Example, "my queen, quite mean, time machine, etc)

Write something yourself mate, no need to copy those "gangstas". 

To add to what Brendan says, syllable emphasis is also important. E.g. the references to Nimzo earlier, if you're trying to find rhymes for "Aron Nimzovitch" then the important emphasised syllables are 1, 3, and 5. 2 and 4 are less important.

Let's make this clear Assault you can't rhyme

Your bars and weak and you shan't shine

I read your raps and condemn the moron

You should have listened to Brendan Norman

Let's make it happen!

So today I'm gonna show you people how you do a hippo
and make opponents wanna rip yo' smug face when you win so
it's really easy nothing tricky just a little bit o'
pushing pawns and fianche-thingies playing like a turtle.

Regardless of what white does you can play your moves without fuss
as your pieces go the furthest to your second rank, stay back first
it's the pawns, moving on, making your opponent yawn
going a6 b6 d6 e6 g6 and to h6.

As the middlegame arrives, you can play them to the fives
Break the centre trade defenders get your pieces where you need 'em
From a little space explode with rage the hippo is alive
White will wonder what just hit him at the moment when you beat 'im.

You can find me on a chequered board, just sharpening the weapons more*

Obsessed with war, protect the pawns, The black monarch’s the next to fall*

The message scrawled upon a scroll, Its time for us declare the war*

Prepare the fort and mount the knights, observe each square is fit for all*

We count the squares and start the game without Nintendo 64*

Without some help from Fritz and More*

I hit the clock and slid e4*

He slid c5 and went to thought*

While I attacked him left and right*

He moved his king to pass the time*

While I just sipped a glass of wine*

And when I had the mate prepared* 

I lost on time and sprayed some tears

LOL 

With me you got no chance of bargain

I got no pity, the black monarch is mah target

E4 C5 NF3 D6

You think you can beat me with the Najdorf, miss?!

Please don't call me a cheater, don't be a meanie

I already know I move better than Houdini

Meet you at the chessboard, let's see who's the king

For those tears you might need some tissues to bring.

Is Krestez tryna battle me? It’s kinda sad to see*

Coz when my queen and bishop hit Its called “assault and battery”*

And Actually, Houdini can’t see me, A fact you forgot*

So while I’m making strong moves houd’s is trapped in a box*

And all the crap that you talk…These guys that seem to worship the engine*

Never make the strong moves that be hurtin’ the “Brendan”*

Need to work on ya endin’s, keep your mouth for now passified*

My games and watched by packs of eyes without the need to advertise* 

The last line? Check the live ratings man… yours is barely half of mine.

LOL, good bars man, but if you're talking about my low blitz and bullet ratings, I'm more of a standard guy.

hehe no offence meant mate 

allow me to interject, 'cause I'm sicker than Nezh and Ket,

stick a slicker Bishop through the rest and we'll see what's next;

listenin' to the Ozzies, you gotta be poppin' mollies

it's a folly, and it don't look any better in retrospect

I'm made from a different set, yet my pieces are the same

black and white, I'm here to fight, under the guise of a game

and I'm slightly insane, so they call me the Angler

my sacrifices make your feeble play look very plain

but it's all in my brain, I don't write a thing down

so Brendan, stop your spendin', you won't find it in town

why don't you take your pet Welshman and go find you some sheep

and get some sleep, 'cause when I see you son, for sure, you're going down

twenty-two hundred is a little too pretty for me

so you bought it; that's fine, I just like mine to be free

plonk my Knight on e3, and it's victory, see? For me

bow down and kiss the ground, maybe I won't charge a fee.

Who you dicking with ItsEoin? We'll pin him down, and kick him in his groin, and keep going until his prick drops off his loin, and what's your ELO, C-class, I'll hack you up like a sea bass, and when you shake hands spray you with tear gas, and hell yes I like sheep, I prefer them to the diseases your Dublin dykes keep, and you might weep when you watch me in light sleep, at the top of the mountains quite steep, lying next to my white sheep!

All in good fun 

rhymes are fine, you see, but lime's a treat,

get rid of

all that nasty flesh and then I'll bury you deep

and if you call me a liar? stop your clownin', Joe

I'll stick your eyeballs in the dryer, round and round they go

like round and round I flow, somethin' you're not even close to

about to explode, a boiling pot and Krakatoa, too

more rhymes in my lines than you've got brain cells to rub together

why don't you

head back inside, prepare the men a batch of Cardiff leather

chop up that cow you call your girl, but save the meat for later

knocked that up? wow, they say small world, but I'd never date her

BCF? that's nice, when you're serious gimme a call

think I'm afraid, bitch? the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

Naturally ;)