He had a knight near his bishop he called...doggy?
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And then Boggy said "wait, so you want me to nibble you back? You're into some weird stuff bro. I guess that's why you're still a bishop instead of getting promoted to rook".
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"No nibble. Here's a cookie. You may nibble that. But make sure you say it's tasty, delicious and tangy. Soggy baked it and she gets REALLY mad when people criticise her baking (it's not tasty, delicious and tangy)".
Soggy was a queen, so she was able to move across the entire board, over to Jupiter and scowled at Dummy "Hey, I baked that cookie!!!.......but thanks for saying it was delicious.......
"
There once was a white king named groggy