jokes and chess
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Another one:
Berkeley Board of Education voted last night to ban the game of Chess from all of its elementary, junior high and high schools. The board claims that Chess has a negative influence on students because of the backwards and outdated thinking that was responsible for creating the game.
One board member, Claudia Starsniffer, compiled a list of seven grievances against Chess. Starsniffer's list claims,
- Chess is irrelevant to our society because it was created by dead white guys.
- Chess encourages racism by having a 'war' between a white army and a black army.
- Chess reinforces current racist tendencies in our society by always having the white army move first.
- Chess glorifies war.
- Chess oppressively reinforces heterosexual stereotypes. It does this by forcing each army to have a king and a queen and by not allowing the game to be played with either two kings or two queens.
- Chess is guilty of breaking the separation of church and state by allowing a bishop to be a belligerent in war.
- Chess destroys self-esteem. When children play the game, one always loses. Losing causes a child to feel dumb and inadequate.
Said Starsniffer, "There is no place in our society for a monstrous game like Chess. Chess is dangerous. Chess is destructive. Chess teaches racial and sexual oppression. Chess has got to go!
This is my opponents, HAHAHAHAHAHA
very relevant to chess, i tell ya
my laptop is bigger though, but contents are the same
uuups this is irrelevant, pardon me
well ull see it on live chess ;))
Alice in a chess land
And that's me horsie
hey zeta,,like i say on status...if at 1st you dont succeed...f..it...lol......p.s i think your a wonderful person and really enjoy beating you at chess...lol....only kidding with ya.. no really,,your my kind ov woman,,and i mean that from the bottom of my cotton socks.... play and speak 2you real soon i hope..... take care..X
needshelp2 wrote:
hey zeta,,like i say on status...if at 1st you dont succeed...f..it...lol......p.s i think your a wonderful person and really enjoy beating you at chess...lol....only kidding with ya.. no really,,your my kind ov woman,,and i mean that from the bottom of my cotton socks.... play and speak 2you real soon i hope..... take care..X
Heeyy, Helps (AKA Brian), you are awesome.....from the bottom of my socks....hahahahaha, I don't know, how you produce such a sparkle around you, you always lighten up atmosphere around and electrify it, so i like to read your chat....Thanks for the compliment, zeta
I forgot, Helps, XOXOXOXOXOX... 
..
isn't this getting out of hand?
I read this on a chess blog :o)
my computer beat me at chess.
Unfortunately my computer isn't as good in kickboxing.
I think my computer will have to forfeit the tiebreak round.
Alphaaa,you are da very best!
Keep them coming!
Thanks check...
Great collection! My favorite one is the irrelevant one!
very realistic pic
zetamarina wrote:
Thanks check...
I do what I can :)
I can't find too many jokes on the Internet relavent to chess that haven't already been posted.
Although on Bill Wall's site (http://www.chessville.com/BillWall/index.htm), there's a humorous story called The Chess Player's Widow which can be found here:
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/widow.htm
jerry2468 wrote:
.. isn't this getting out of hand?
Yes, it is.... everyone please, I don't want to lock this thread, but keep the jokes clean, and keep them non-political, otherwise, I'll have no choice.
Jun 22, 2009
0
#19
I have a few humorous articles
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/addict.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/annoy.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/bookstit.htm
http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Lab/7378/celeb.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/define.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/excuses.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/horoscop.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/limer.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/lose.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/morphyla.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/resign.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/team.htm
http://www.geocities.com/siliconvalley/lab/7378/widow.htm
A bloke who can't pronounce his H's is up in court being questioned has a victim in a sex assault trial.
The prosecutor asks " Would you please tell the jury what happened when you were using the gentlemans toilets on Clapham common? "
" Certainly sir " says the victim. " I was urinating at the urinals when an and came from around the corner of the cubicle and groped me."
" Who? Vishy Anand the world chess champion " said the judge.
" No your honour. Sorry, but i have a problem pronouncing my H's. I meant to say a hand!"
Guys, I found my hobby
, i am starting to collect funny pic about chess, stories, jokesi want to make it available to everybody, please, submit ur ideas, and share what u have. I am doing this for fun, and if we generate enough material maybe we can have a page on chess.com 
....just dreaming aloud lol