McDonald's Gambit: Extended Variation

I stood in amazement as the cashier at the window spoke McNuggets into the hands of the crazy blonde chick who had just assumed her ultimate form.

It was 10:30 in the morning as I logged onto chess.com, because I refused to pay the outrageous internet fees of the service providers in my area. McDonald's provided free wifi.

I bought a cup of coffee--I let it sit for 30 minutes before I started drinking it--a stalling tactic so that I wasn't sent away by the local manager for loitering, and went straight to the forums.

Later that night, some kids came through the drive-thru with an order for two. They wanted a double chessburger, hold the lettuce.

I feel asleep after drinking my 14th cup of coffee; and, when I woke up, I went to the soda machine to get myself a cold pop. And, I thought I smelled some fried chicken. Then I said to myself, "Oh my gosh, it's a fire". I ran for my life. Then the smoke got me. I got the bronchittus. Ain't nobody got time for that.

But, I did have time to finish my 1 minute bullet game just as the fire was about to reach my table.

Since there are about 1 million McDonald's (a slight exaggeration) in NYC, I walked about 1 block down the street to the next McDonald's location. I would not let a fire deny me of the golden arch's wifi; and, ultimately, being able to write this ridiculous post on chess.com.

Maybe it would be important to note that the reason I remained in the fire during the bullet game was because I was 58-1-0 (i gave him one draw as a courtesy) against Magnus Carlsen. However, back to the McDonald's Gambit.

I created a McDonald's Gambit, the same gambit to which Magnus Carlsen remains helpless against. The first move is e4 for white or e5 for black. However, if you want to know the remaining lines and variations, you will have to buy my book titled, "McDonald's Gambit: Supersized Defeat of Magnus Carlen"

However, because the gambit will win 100% of the time, I can only release it to a select few people. Because, with the help of McDonald's McCafe Coffee and free wifi, I have officially broken chess.

Thank you for reading my post.

I will pay 1 billion dollars for your book.

Unfortunately, according to the auditor, you already spent your 1 billion dollars on the failed rocket you tried to launch from your backyard.

Therefore, I will have to respectfully decline.

I am not kidding you.

If any one person can guess the second, third and fourth move of the McDonald's Gambit, I will post the entire gambit.

Were the second,third and fourth moves 2.g4 3.f4 and 4.e4.?

Noob Master Dale, your guess was incorrect.