Signs you're a bad chess player

When you think that Karpov is a fish.

or Kasparov is a ghost

 Karpov, and Fischer are the only two chess players I'd ever heard of before joining this site.

You'd heard of Karp but not Kasp?  Really?

About 11 years ago, when I first started playing, I don't know that I had heard of Fischer even. Now I'm following Yifan Hou's career, and can probably name almost a hundred chess masters without any difficulty! That's pretty neat!

 Yep. I'd just vaguely remembered somebody mention he was a world class Russian chess player.

Same here. I only knew the 2 K's (Karpov & Kasparov) before joining this web, now I can name almost all the World champions (Steinitz, Lasker, Capa, Alekhine, Euwe, Smyslov, Botvinnik, Tal, Petrosian, Korchnoi, Fischer, Karpov, Kasparov, Kramnik)

Korchnoi never made it, Spassky was the one Fischer played

I love the idea of the King sacrifice!  Absurd?  Obviously.

Chess is a sonnet...or a screech...depends on how well you play, I suppose.

A bad chess player:

when you have  your own class  Z

Choosing moves at random improves your winning chances.

Now here's the rub. It's this word "bad".

If you are a "bad" chess player, does that mean you are a felon, an evil-doer, or such, who happens to be a chess player? Perhaps, in your case...yes.

"Bad" is an adjective for which the implication is actually meant not for the person, per se, but in regard to their chess playing ability.

In which case, "bad" is still inapropriate. How can chess play be either "good" or "bad"? Where is the moral or legal basis?

Anyway, I would suggest the following (please feel free to correct me or invent your own wording):

"He is a fine fellow, but his chess play is simply dreadful."

Nuts. That sounds 19th-century archaic.

I suppose, "bad chess player" will have to do.

When....U log on a checkers screen pops up!!!!!

Aw right, this is getting long in the tooth. I can't think of a thing that hasn't already been said.

I just watched Casablanca (for probably the 10th time) and in his opening scene, there was Humphrey Bogart sitting at a chessboard (I suppose that I had forgotten about this).

I strained my eyes to see if the pieces were on the right squares (which is often not the case in movies and print). I didn't have an adequate view. That and my eyesight has seen better days.

The point is, I was wondering if maybe Humphrey Bogart was a bad chess player.

Hey, that's great news!

BTW, I lied when I said that I can't think of anything else to say .

When you have more Blog Points than actual rating Points!!!!

 SO!!!!

The hell he was.

No, wait! That was John Wayne.

If you are a bad chess player, perhaps your offsetting attributes are actually praiseworthy:

a. You lack evil, Machiavellian mad-dog killer instincts (keeps you out of jail).

b. You have empathy for your fellow human (and thusly, chess players) and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

c. You are too scrupulous to stoop to chicanery (nice way to say cheating).

d. Winning isn't "everything".

e. You have a "life" (and the females find you very attrative).

I could go on ad infinitum, but that would be an exercise in futility. It's all a pack of lies.

Truth is, even if you are a truly bad chess player, chances are that at least your dog still loves you.