the never ending chess story

...because she was scaring all the kids.

and geting nuked by the people with candy

how? said chicken leg.

How? Telepathy!

Then her eyes glowed she got a low voice and screamed THIS IS SPARTA
and the whole world turned into candy, 

Then she remembered nuclear weapons didn't exist 126 years ago. She realized she was dreaming and woke up abruptly.

In front of a chess board...

She saw Carlsen sitting across the board from her.

He reluctantly handed her an olive sandwich.....

..................and challenged her to a chess game

Oh my goodness, she beat magnus in ten moves. She was very happy and went to bathroom to wash her face and back only to realized that it was a fake carlsen.

Then she got so angry she ripped the sink off the pipe.

Her skin started turning green. Her muscles started bulging. She grew taller and taller. She swung the sink around her head and threw it through the wall. She realized that threw and through are homonyms.

...and homonym and homophone are synonyms...

The she thought, I meant homophone, not homonym. She got smaller and smaller. Her skin lost its green hue. She went to find the real Carlsen.

Carlsen refused to see her.

Then she realized she had forgotten something very important.....

...her name. It was written in indelible ink on her underwear.

aha! That was what she forgot! Her clothes! No wonder Carlsen refused to see her! Naked guests are not welcomed!