Worst Excuses for Losing


I fell.


How can you expect me to play well when you play so badly?

I didn’t have my glasses on so I couldn’t see my hanging queen. (Even better if they wear contacts or don’t need glasses)

I couldn't report you for no reason in time.


My pants were undone and I was disqualified for having three bishops. I suppose that’s better than having nine pawns.


I forgot the rules


You spilled soda on your device and crashed(you crashed, not the device)


My cat came into the room while I was playing and attacked my mouse causing a mouse slip on my game. 


I refused to pay the hackers for their ransomware freeze of my online game so I lost that game. After clearing and reprogramming my computer it happened again so I paid the ransom, after all I was playing a grand master and had a winning position, but then even though I paid the ransom they left my game frozen and I lost on time. I think it was because my opponent was one of the hackers . The third time I finally got revenge because when the game was hacked I was losing anyway. Take that!


Like many of my games, I win the opening and the middle game and just lose at the ending. I figure two out of three ain't bad. 



Halfway thru the game my cowboy opponent said "Draw?" so I did and shot him. The police arrested me and took me away so the Arbiter of the Tournament said I lost the game. Should have hit my clock before they got the cuffs on and perp walked me out. 


I thought we were playing Chinese Chess and thought I could use my opponents captured pieces.


"If you've been playing checkers all your life you'll know how it feels to lose because your opponent was going too hard on you. y'know it's not my fault I lost."