Emulating the end of "Thelma & Louise" is safe and the way to go.
Your funniest lie :)

I thought today was Friday.
Let me guess, you knew someone who got pregnant on a Tuesday?
Hehe

blitz chess between chess enthusiasts is equivalent to the s.a.t. or a real iq test, and means ten times more than either of those things (again, reality, blitz chess is a video game if it's being played by chess enthusiasts, only very strong professionals can play something that comes near to real actual chess in such short time controls, don't kid yourselves.)
Ooh, a funny lie with footnotes! (God, this is heaven!).
When in Alaska, it's fun to walk on thin ice.