It truly brings me pleasure to see my gems of wisdom change lives.
Did this guy take me seriously?

Yesterday I accepted an unrated 1 min game from a 2000 rated bullet player. I am 1500 blitz and 1000 rated bullet. I expected to get destroyed and maybe learn something, but to my shock, I won four out of our five games! I was ahead on time for most of the games, but I didn't just win on time, in most of the games I was dominating! So am I a secret prodigy, Is he overrated, or was he messing around since it was unrated?
EDIT: I looked at his account one more time, and have come to this conclusion (NOTE THAT THIS IS ONLY A HYPOTHESIS): This account was made by a weak player, who let a strong player (let's say older brother) play games on his account for while. Well, his brother played rated games and catapulted his rating rather quickly to 2000. Now the little brother is left with a problem: he doesn't want to lose all those nice rating points, but he still wants to play some chess. So he decides to play only unrated until he can become strong enough to stay at 2000. He has been trying this for years now, and occasionally plays a rated game to test his strength, and gets promptly destroyed. He licks his wounds and tries again, and sometimes he beats strong players and sometimes loses to weak players. I was somewhat of an anomaly, as I have a stronger rating on other time controls. I have no explanation for the 3 move wins against an account that was promptly closed, nor other strange and downright suspicious games on his account, but this is the best explanation I can give that would cover the varying strength of his games, and why he has such a strong rating.
EDIT #2: The first edit was from post #124 if anyone is confused.
bro did you know there is something called tilt right? bro i would have not lost that badly but i would have lost like 3-2 wen i am on tilt. people on tilt are SO BAD AT CHESSSSSSS
I just tilted and it was a vicious cycle of chokes, blunders, lowered self-esteem and furniture damage.
* Disclaimer: 'furniture damage' equals me punching the couch once or twice.*

He probs wasn't taking it seriously... just look at this game...
https://www.chess.com/game/live/32915975315?username=joy5555
or maybe it's someone else playing it could be either

He loses to 1000s all the time though, two people might be playing on his account but games like that are what make this so confusing.

He probs wasn't taking it seriously... just look at this game...
https://www.chess.com/game/live/32915975315?username=joy5555
or maybe it's someone else playing it could be either
Did you check how many unrated games his opponent played? His opponent is not that strong either, probably his strength is 1700-2000 for bullet. Apparently there are people who like to cheat their way to a high rating and keep it there by only playing unrated.

He has played basically only unrated games since 2017, and he's played tens of thousands of them in that time frame, most of them with the same playing strength that I saw.

He has played basically only unrated games since 2017, and he's played tens of thousands of them in that time frame, most of them with the same playing strength that I saw.
So you didn't check. I said his opponent. They both play lots of unrated games.

An exciting development! I faced another 2000 in unrated and went 2-3. Much like @joy5555, he plays mostly unrated bullet, barely plays anything else, but unlike @joy5555, he has a strong and consistent record. However, he hung some basic mates against me, and 2-3 is a little lucky. He's lost to some lower-rated payers before in unrated, and might have just been fooling around. Any thoughts from the Chess.com detectives?
You know, if I think a thread is irrelevant, then I don't click on it, or I don't post on it. Perhaps you should do the same, because quite a few people do seem to care.
you are so wise goddamn it!
if only I followed your logic my life would be a far better journey!