How to win truly won games?

Oh, no, he are totally right. My question is how to deal with this?

Carlsen make some comments about the olympiad:

"This is the danger. Also in this game the clock is ticking down, I think there are now 11 moves to go to the time control, and if you don’t find something you can get paralysed, and you just sit there and you’re thinking, “where is my win?” instead of just doing something practical that preserves a large chunk of your advantage. That’s how you lose!"

I think this psychological side is inevitable. time pressure, obligation to win, opponent refusing to draw i draw position, etc. No magic formula.

I'm a online player, no experience in tournaments, and i'm getting better, playing with more tough opponents:  both in play and attitudes. No more games purely for fun. 

I am learning. In the last 2 months here at CC I had an almost traumatic experience with players who did not resign in lost position and / or players who made it harder to play.
I have no experience with this, apparently I already started to play chess with 1600 rating (lol?), I do not remember one day having 1200,1300,1400 ... And here when I play these players they know a lot more about chess than I imagined and the players with 1800-2000 make my life on the board a real hell and I confess I was very nervous at first.

But I'm adapting to not think I'll have an easy game ..

My theory is that CC has a lot of tournament players and the sites I've played are more common hobbyist, so it's not important for them to try to win or draw at any cost (it would be the case if it was a tournament game).

In part I find it humiliating to be in a totally lost position, so when my opponent finds himself in this position there is some kind of empathy, but that is my philosophy, the important thing is that I am adapting!

In any case, I doubt that a GM would let the opponent mate him. So I think there's a bit of arrogance from the players. They hope you will make a mistake. (and this is usually the case with players up to 2200). If I play against a player of 2100 with my singles 1900 he will probably play with queen less with me hoping to reverse the disadvantage lol.

You did a big mistake hanging the queen but you was totally wining

This is a typical blitz game. Your opponent wanted really to attack and this creates adrenaline in the blood. Is like a football player: he can not stop to attack although his team is loosing 0-3. I personally think that in blitz if someone wants to beat me, he has to give me mate. About the game you are showing: that's a very nice game, you played very well (except some errors) but honestly speaking I don't see a moment where white had to resign. Diagonal a1-h8 is very week for black; Ra8 did not played (you played without a rook). Be1 , Qg3  f6  you did probably 3 errors. But it's ok, that is a blitz and you have to play fast, so is normal to do mistakes and it is normal that one doesn't resign till the situation is very clearly lost. 

Yes osdeving, as you wrote, your problem is that you are nervous. A blitz game is not like a classical one. What you wrote in not true: chess players don't hope for a mistake of his opponent in a lost position, chess players they just have to play fast, because in blitz if you don't play fast you loose by time. In a classical game is totally different. You have time to think at you position, and if you realize that is completely lost, you resign. So in conclusion: blitz players they don't resign in a lost position, just becuase they not clearly realize they are lost and at the same time adrenaline in the blood let you be like a gladiator (I will play till the end). My suggestion is: chess is only game. Try to relax, enjoy the nice moves of your opponent; he is not your enemy. Chess is just a sport.

If you end up losing, now u know why. Getting up on material is half the job, converting is the other half. Why should you be entitled to a resignation once u go up X amount of material?

Also I stopped playing daily a long time ago, so I don't really know the conversion, as daily. ratings are highly inflated, 1600-1800 is not class a for daily

I've never gotten angry because an opponent plays a losing position out to the end: it's his/her right to do so.

I've won games where I'm in a seriously bad position but lured my opponent to grab a rook to get out of position and I play a great combination that wins, so I often don't give up until it's clear I can't pull off any surprises before I'm mated.

You're right on several points.

1) Yes, the bishop on the big diagonal cost me 6 moves, it was really dangerous. But I think I did a good job from move 20 to 26 in neutralizing the bishop (Bb2 has Bc3). In addition I was able to decentralize the queen and disconnect the rook and queen with Be1. But of course, now I see that if I did not have time to activate my rooks it was because he had a good latent counter-attack (my mistake was f6, when I finally had time I made a passive move, psychologically speaking I was still not sure with Bb2 and f6 looked pretty good, I did not see entry in h6!).

2) Yes, in fact blitz we have that adrenaline. We tend to see only opportunities. The lull tends to never happen. It has occurred to me to make a series of exchanges and in the end I realize that I'm with one less piece. When that happens I joke in the chat "now we can count the pieces!".

3) It's true that I get nervous, but there is no chess player who does not get nervous in blitz. Watch the videos of Carlsen playing blitz and you will see that he gets very nervous. There is a video that he puts the king in a square and after releasing the piece he try to put him in another square: in pure adrenaline. He was not morally cheat, he did it by reflex , as soon as he released the piece he saw that he lost.

My conclusion is: thats ok, my blunder was because high energy used to neutralize white counter-attack. White should not resign, I choose wrong game to illustrate my point.

It may be, but when I have material or positional advantage or 'worse', both my interest in the game considerably increases my fear of losing. So in that position I needed to cancel any white initiative.

But this is psychological. Players like me appreciate symmetry, stability. Players like me like to be in control of the situation. An improved version of me is Karpov, Carlsen, Petrossian, Scheleter, etc. This is a psychological trait and independent of the player's strength.

"Okay, I'm won, so let's first make sure White does not try any kind of trick"

That's interesting. Players with my personality are more interested in restriction than activation. The epic clash between Karpov and Kasparov says a lot about it, on the one hand the player who is interested in activating his own pieces, on the other a player who is interested in not allowing the opponent to activate his pieces: restriction vs. activation.

A suggestion for your feelings: play longer games. For example you feel not happy loosing these games with 3'+2" blitz: try playing games with 5'+5" and everything will be more tranquil. Or if you play 5', try with 10'.

Opening Principles:

1. Control the center squares – d4-e4-d5-e5
2. Develop your minor pieces toward the center – piece activity is the key
3. Castle
4. Connect your rooks

Tactics...tactics...tactics...

The objective of development is about improving the value of your pieces by increasing the importance of their roles. Well-developed pieces have more fire-power than undeveloped pieces and they do more in helping you gain control.

Now we will look at 5 practical things you can do to help you achieve your development objective.

They are:

1. Give priority to your least active pieces.

• Which piece needs to be developed (which piece is the least active)
• Where should it go (where can its role be maximized)

2. Exchange your least active pieces for your opponent’s active pieces.
3. Restrict the development of your opponent’s pieces.
4. Neutralize your opponent’s best piece.
5. Secure strong squares for your pieces.

Don’t help your opponent develop.

There are 2 common mistakes whereby you will simply be helping your opponent to develop:

1. Making a weak threat that can easily be blocked
2. Making an exchange that helps your opponent to develop a piece

Pre Move Checklist:

1. Make sure all your pieces are safe.
2. Look for forcing moves: Checks, captures, threats. You want to look at ALL forcing moves (even the bad ones) as this will force you look at, and see the entire board.
3. If there are no forcing moves, you then want to remove any of your opponent’s pieces from your side of the board.
4. If your opponent doesn’t have any of his pieces on your side of the board, then you want to improve the position of your least active piece.
5. After each move by your opponent, ask yourself: "What is my opponent trying to do?"

Middlegame Planning:

1. Expand your position:
2. Gain more space.
3. Improve the position of your pieces.
4. Decide on what side of the board to play.
5. Queenside: a-c files.
6. Center: d-e files.
7. Kingside: f-h files.

            Compare, space, material, and weakness(es)

            Play where you have the advantage.

3. DO NOT HURRY. Regroup your pieces, and be patient.

Winning the Won Game Paperback - September 1, 2004

And

In the book Winning Chess Strategy - Yasser, Chapter 2 and 3 are essentially on this subject:

Chapter Two: Making the Most of Material Advantage
Chapter Three: Stoping Enemy Counterplay

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If you can read a book, book is a shortcut. I think there are then shortcurts, since there are books just about on the subject (Daniel Kopec, Lubomir Ftacnik, 2004) and parts of the book's contents on subject (Yasser Seirawan, 2005).

Now if anyone says they are useless books, waste of time, that there are no shortcuts in teaching and learning of chess (on that subject, for example), then it would be something to be really discussed. The myriad of METHODS that are passed from generation to generation as true shortcuts to some part of the game says the opposite.

Never is end of story in chess, my dear trolls...