8...h6 and 9...g5 looked like panic reactions. A calm reshuffling with 8...d6, ...Nbd7 and ...Qsomewhere is on the cards here. Also possible may be 8...d5 9. cxd5 Qxd5!? 10. Bxf6 gxf6 where the central light squares are still yours, and the idea of aiming at g2 appears.
The 13th move seems critical here. Floating in my mind are 13...Rc8 (self-explanatory), 13...d5!? (with a pawn sac in mind after 14. cxd5 exd5 15. Bxc7 Qe7 and the c-file as compensation), 13...Ndf6 (as you said, although I see 14. c5!? as an interesting option) and even 13...f5!? (I have no idea how sound this is but it's probably terrible; Stonewall ideas here.)
Coming from one who defends terrible positions all too often, 16...e5 is the automatic response, as locking the centre usually buys plenty of time to deal with threats. White probably won't go for b4 which weakens the queenside, but try to blow you away on the kingside and f-file. So I read 16...e5 17. Bf5 (preventing ...f5) Nf6 and black tries perhaps ...Bc8 or ...Re8 and ...e4 as the defensive ideas.
I got creamed in this game really good, I think Qf6? was where I went wrong, and it ironically lead to what I was trying to prevent in the first place!