I'm sure that most of you are new to chess .com. I myself is a "noob". i'd like to share some basic opening moves that can give you an edge later on in the game.
Absolutely brilliant! You had me laughing for a full five minutes. Keep them coming. 
Here's a game opening with 1. a4 that is pretty amazing. Enjoy!
this is my opening!this is obviously better!
I thought the OP had some good points there, in particular this:
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Yes it was a joke i promise to put up better posts next time.
That's just not funny. I'm cereal about this.
With milk??
[COMMENT DELETED AND AUTHOR SHOT BY A TROLL HUNTER]
People here need to take a course in Troll Recognition. Damn.
Seriously, though, anybody here heard of the "Polish Gambit?"
What??!! Why not 9. axg3! or 9. fxg3!