The OP sure knew what he was talking about!
1. e4-b6 should be banned
1 e4 b6 2 d4 Bb7 3 Bd3 is basicly the refutation of the whole opening. I played it myself as black for a while but stopped since the position is a mess for black. Furthermore there is hardly any chance for counter play since white's center can be solidified with moves like c3 and such. This opening is a disaster and not at all playable even though GM Smirnov likes to say otherwise...

It seems like a good time to show a game that Greco wrote about almost 400 years ago in this line, that seems to offer some hope to white:

It seems like a good time to show a game that Greco wrote about almost 400 years ago in this line, that seems to offer some hope to white:
Because trappy anti-positional chess is all the rage nowadays
On a serious note 1...b6 doesn't pose any real problems and white has to worry about not losing the thread and black has quite an uphill battle with his cramping and lack of any central control. I say just play the French and learn to deal with the bad bishop for awhile. Black seems to have a lot going for him in the French anyway though of course white has good chances too.
The( 1b3 and) 1...b6 groups are great. I think the b6 vote group has only lost one or two games.
It is an incredibly nuanced opening.