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A guide on how to lose in chess.
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Yeah, that's how I found it.
Jul 1, 2011
0
#24
22. using a mouse to play online and accidently dropping your queen of at a wrong square
23. you are about to checkmate but for some unknown reason you touch a piece that doesn't checkmate and you are checkmated on next move.
24. you are playing chess where humans are the chess pieces but the "chess pieces" do not do as they are told. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_chess
25. Hari Kari
there are even another easier and better way to lose.
like, slam the guy who play with you and break the chess board. then you are loser. also you do sth with the anger of losing too. :D
Jul 29, 2011
0
#28
lose the Karate Kid way, you say "breath in breach out" while you are doing the meditation thing he does with his hands and then you are done doing that instead of breaking ice cubes you use your hand to knock down all pieces.
bobbyDK wrote:
you forgot
5. make your mobile phone ring (where I live you lose if you phone makes a sound)
6. die (I guess you lose) lol
7. find a pillow and sleep next to the board and lose on time.
8. keep making illegal moves.
Making illegal moves just adds time to your opponent's clock. So it is the same as the pillow idea in that you will lose on time. I like the pillow idea, though, especially if you can start snoring. Actually the illegal moves is funny too.
There always is another way to lose: make very weak moves, such as patterned pawn advances. I don't know if it is best to act like you are thinking hard about each one.
Do a very obvious fake sneeze blows over your opponent's pieces.
bobbyDK wrote:
9. if no notation is made I am sure will at least lose if you do the following : (do not try this at home) you start shaking the chess board and shout "earth quake...."
excuse me for making this bad joke but I had a long day.
Better yet, just shake the table, with both your feet against the legs of it. Do not say earthquake. Instead, just look around the room like you are confused and wondering if there is an earthquake. Then look back at the board and act surprised and disappointed, and say you had a winning move, too.
eat the pieces
What makes anyone think I need help losing at chess?
Never make a move and lose on time, just sit there thinking about the first move.
21. Break the clock.