advice for discouraged beginner

I'm sure those weren't his words.

But sure, 3 minute is the gold standard for online blitz. It's what experienced people play. I haven't played 5 minute blitz in probably 10 years.

I think you are overlooking something here, the reference doesn't include the correspondence/daily format.  I once saw statistics that indicated that >25% of the games on chess.com were of the Daily format. This might help explain the unpopularity of classical formats and note that titled players are very unlikely to acknowledge playing the Daily format on their main accounts.

I don't quite understand the huge popularity of the Daily Format - working lives? - but I have seen no reason to doubt the statistic - some people play 100s of Daily moves per day! The Daily format is an aspect of chess.com that gets little or no attention but is a very busy environment.

Note: Using Lichess filters the statistic >25% is not supported - low single digit % - however the Rapid format is far more popular on LiChess than on Chess.com. I suspect this was why chess.com amended it's definition of Rapid some time ago.

Try moving 1 or 2 pawns, usually your middle ones, and then develop your major pieces. Stop attacking with pawns frivolously. You need them in the end game to make queens. Clear your back row, castle (usually within the first 10 moves) and get your rooks communicating , i.e. backing each other up on the back line. Keep your pawn wall intact. It's your castle. Most importantly - attack, attack, attack!

In an average game you are fighting over the middle four squares. Get your major pieces ahead your pawns. Back them up if needed by pawns (try to resist this) not the other way around, pawns being backed up by major pieces. There are 3 major phases of the game the opening, the middle, and the end. Tactics involves using your Bishops, Knights and the Queen in a way to destroy your opponents pawn wall and major pieces. This is the melt down that occurs in the middle game that takes you into the end game. If you do it right you can come out with a slight advantage and then take your opponent in the end game.

Praxis Is an important concept where you make sure you back up all of your major pieces with the other major pieces. The people who are good at tactics are the people who can use their bishops and horses together with the Queen to confound the enemy.

Start counting how many pieces are hitting a certain square. If you see your opponent piling up pieces to attack a certain square you may want to counter those moves.

But you said @cooloutac was your account for life and you'd never get another one

These are just a few of the practical rules that should make you a better player. Good luck in your endevours.

That's basically the only time control I play, and I don't play that much of that. The reasoning is that I simply do not want to be tied down to a game for a long period of time and my reasons are my work life and what time I get when I'm at home. I can play daily using my time when I wish and when it's available. I can come up with moves while I'm laying in bed , and I don't have to make a move if I don't want to. I think I've only played rapid one day in the last year. If I play Blitz it is otb. When I say I have zero interest in playing it here, I really mean that. That doesn't mean that I won't at some point, but it just isn't something that interests me. I enjoy rapid, but for reasons even I can't explain I just don't want to allocate a half an hour that I can't be interrupted. So daily works better. Do I think more people cheat in it? Yes. Have I experienced a lot of that? It's hard to say but I have never accused anyone, I don't think I have a good reason to accuse anyone, and I think that smurfing is far more common than cheating. I still don't care, it's the time format that I like.

very important to point out i'm sure.

Some advice put the oars in the water for a while, do you do other things? 

When are you playing are you mentally alert?

I'm guessing this is what got your first account closed.

And this is the weird side of you. On one hand you're passionate, and come across as being genuine, but you also say things that I know you know to be false... it's a strange mix.

the rest of the entire world despises the Yankees

so probably extra motivation to beat you. change your screen name and your fortune may get better

Would be fun to lock you and @lfpatriotgames in a room and have you fight it out (she's weird in the same way to me). Too bad your areas of interest don't overlap.

again, very important to point out. 

"won't ever start another account.  take that seriously. "

"won't ever cheat. take that seriously."

history is not in your favor, i'm afraid.

so btw, what's my other account that's open?  i'm terribly curious.

you're grasping at straws now.  my excuse for what?  you're just throwing out accusations.

but yes, i was at that grassy knoll.

i don't.   you said i have another open account and then that my last account was banned.  neither of which is true.  so i'm merely asking you to back up your accusations.

if that's your psych 101 then i guess you must have got it during the witching trials.

sure. you're free to assume what you like.  but now you say you remember me and i've admitted to whatever it is you assume.  so just name the account.

report you?  you're doing fine on your own digging your own grave.