Anger is RUINING my Chess [Please Help]
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Oct 1, 2017
0
#43
quantumred wrote:
what are you telling yourself that produces the anger?
Oct 1, 2017
0
#44
chessgm003 wrote:
Hey everyone,
Sometimes I get extremely angry while playing chess which causes me to lose lot of games. Here are the things that happen when I'm in this state of mind:
1.) I move extremely fast even if I have a longer time control
2.) I don't think logically & just move, move, and move.
3.) I just want the game to finish ASAP
4.) This ultimately results in a loss or draw & increases the anger
5.) I'm usually angry at myself
6.) If my opponent is moving fast, I get angry and start moving fast too.
This "Angry state of mind" has caused me to lose countless games which I could have won if I were relaxed or calm.
Am I the only one who is experiencing anger while playing chess? Have you ever experienced something like this?
If so, how did you deal with it? How can I overcome this problem?
Please help.
Keep in mind that youre talking about a game.
Keep in mind that youre talking about an online game of chess.
The online ratings arent real, unlike OTB.
You are playing way more blitz/bullet than longer time controls. Try playing slower games.
Keep in mind that none of this really matters, in the grand scheme of things.
Youre online rating is not a reflection of yourself.
FishEyedFools wrote:
chessgm003 wrote:
Hey everyone,
Sometimes I get extremely angry while playing chess which causes me to lose lot of games. Here are the things that happen when I'm in this state of mind:
1.) I move extremely fast even if I have a longer time control
2.) I don't think logically & just move, move, and move.
3.) I just want the game to finish ASAP
4.) This ultimately results in a loss or draw & increases the anger
5.) I'm usually angry at myself
6.) If my opponent is moving fast, I get angry and start moving fast too.
This "Angry state of mind" has caused me to lose countless games which I could have won if I were relaxed or calm.
Am I the only one who is experiencing anger while playing chess? Have you ever experienced something like this?
If so, how did you deal with it? How can I overcome this problem?
Please help.
Keep in mind that youre talking about a game.
Keep in mind that youre talking about an online game of chess.
The online ratings arent real, unlike OTB.
You are playing way more blitz/bullet than longer time controls. Try playing slower games.
Keep in mind that none of this really matters, in the grand scheme of things.
*Your online rating is not a reflection of yourself.
THE TRUTH HAS BEEN SPOKEN
I have good news for you, OP. When you get older and gain maturity and insight and wisdom and enlightenment, all the anger will go away. Whether or not you will become a better chess player and win more games is an entirely different question that I am not competent to address.
lofina_eidel_ismail wrote:
#45 looks great, but it needs croutons!
OP: As for anger, try MMA!
getting mad over a game of chess, is like watching two nerds trying to be all gangsta over grades in school 😶
I was thinking almost the same thing. It doesn't make any sense to get angry over a chess game. It looks so goofy and ridiculous and it makes me laugh because I know that person has never had anything truly consequential ever happen to them. The suggestion of MMA is a good one, the only other thing I can think of where anger could be of any benefit is political commentary. Some people seem to really get worked up about that.
kaynight wrote:
Give up chess.
No use, his flaw will transfer into other areas of his life.
abdul ya beda bedul
Oct 1, 2017
0
#50
You can take deep breaths, think about a happy memory and/or talk to somebody.
.. Alternatively ; Perhaps, you should 'take up', "chess-boxing" - B-I-N-G-O !
https://www.casino.org/blog/inside-the-surreal-world-of-chess-boxing/
Why not take an Anger-management class?
Try meditating.... It will help you...... Think as if nothing is winning or losing.... Just play for fun..... And soon, you will see a better player in yourself!
It happened with me too
Play chess with a happy and peaceful mind
Play just for relaxing
Oct 4, 2017
0
#58
I've already posted a couple of comments here, but after reading all the really good observations and suggestions since then, I had another thought. You wrote that "I" get angry, mostly at "myself." Of course, all of us use that phrase sometimes-- well, except for some very great presidents, who, as I understand it, never make any real mistakes.
For the rest of us, who make mistakes all the time, looking at it this way can help. "I" and "Myself" aren't the same thing. They're two different internal voices, two different parts of a person. "Myself" is the core - the self each of us was born with. The "I" came later. The "I" is a scolding authority figure we adopted, copying from people who scolded us when we were kids. And some of us have a particularly strict "I" who always demands perfection, and comes down on us like a sledgehammer, punishing us severely for every little misstep we take.
If you had a friend who was in this situation, getting beaten up internally over and over, wouldn't you want to defend his "myself" against his bully of an "I"? Counselors know a lot of ways to do this. I do hope you get some good help in dealing with your own "I" -- he sounds like a toughie.
Was it anger that made 58 or more deaths and hundreds of wounded in Las Vegas this week? Where is the line seoarating legitimate and harmless anger from the one that goes out of control and can cause damage? When I win, I do not want my opponent to suffer. I just want to win. And when I lose, I want to learn the lesson if I can. Respect the opponent. Respect yourself.
kaynight wrote:
Anger manifests itself in America, by the easy access to ordnance.
Actually, in this case, it was the easy access to casinos. It was the casino that ruled his life, changed his mindset, became the venue for his anger. The casino is where he spent so much tme plotting, thinking, angry. If he never, or rarely, went to the casinos this conversation wouldn't be happening. The reality is we cannot blame one thing or series of events for this. Some want to blame ordnance, some want to blame society, some want to blame mental health, some want to blame casino security, some want to blame ease of public gatherings, etc, etc. Satan himself I'm sure is very happy to agree with all those options.