Thanks. I get angry, too, when I lose in bullet, not because of my opponent: because of the blunders I made. Hence, the losing streak because of anger - apart from the late night tiredness, in my opinion.
Anger management, risk vs reward and the power of positive thinking.
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May 14, 2018
0
#3
@excalibr. You just saved yourself $200/hr. Everything we need to know in life can be learned from the Sopranos.
It's only a game, joder. It helps for forgetting about real problems for a while.
May 14, 2018
0
#5
Should losing bother you? Yes.
But all this "online anger" over a game, and an online rating, makes me wonder how you deal with everyday disappointments in life?
May 14, 2018
0
#6
In bullet it it is easy to get angry, I don’t think it is worth trying to improve it. I like Daily, plenty of time to think.
May 15, 2018
0
#7
IMBacon wrote:
Should losing bother you? Yes.
But all this "online anger" over a game, and an online rating, makes me wonder how you deal with everyday disappointments in life?
Same way Tony deals with them.... "Got myself a gun!'
May 15, 2018
0
#8
Excalibr4 wrote:
IMBacon wrote:
Should losing bother you? Yes.
But all this "online anger" over a game, and an online rating, makes me wonder how you deal with everyday disappointments in life?
Same way Tony deals with them.... "Got myself a gun!'
Seems a bit extreme...but...
Don Corleone always plays the Sicilian.
Has the OP played any OTB chess lately?
May 16, 2018
0
#11
ffolkes wrote:
Has the OP played any OTB chess lately?
Rarely. Chess isn't the popular game it was, back in the Fischer days. When I do I have to slow my game down tenfold, due to the 3 dimensional board perception.
May 16, 2018
0
#12
catdogorb wrote:
Excalibr4 wrote:
Last night I was watching a rerun of The Sopranos and the episode revolved around anger management. As I played today and lost I found myself getting angry, as I always do when I lose. Like most chess players, I became angry with myself, for either not being smart enough or fast enough. At this writing I have lost around 200 rating points in the last week and the frustration has been building. Losing to time, when far ahead in material is particularly irritating. Then I remembered the show from last night and one thing stuck in my head, as the core lesson. Regardless of the source of one's anger (either yourself, another person or chance circumstances are to blame), a person has to identify that it's his or her own mind that generates the anger, via perception. So I just realized I have nothing to be angry about. if I lost and was up material, then I simply played a faster player, but was superior in play. If I lose to superior play, then I have the opportunity to learn from the mistake, again not something to be upset over. So once I have a good winning streak and get over 1200 (bullet) I can feel the palpable fear of losing as I play. Thus enters the "risk vs reward" factor. This can negatively affect my manner of play and all around enjoyment while playing. Again it boils down to perception. Finally, I am reminded of the book "The Power of Positive Thinking", which is still probably the best best self help book ever written and required reading for high caliber sales people. I suddenly find myself free of the anger that encompassed me earlier and felt that sharing my experience with others who play this game, may help them as well. There are plenty of others who express their frustration by messaging or disconnecting. However, I am sure there are many more, like myself, who keep it to themselves and allow the anger to negatively impact their real lives. So next time you find yourself worked up over a losing streak, you can think about this post and log off with a smile on your face.
That's all well and good, but also, feelings are legitimate.
If you're pissed, your emotion isn't something you can (or should) make go away if only you have enough will power.
You can't always control your circumstances, and you can't always control your emotions, but you can realize you're not a slave to these things, which can help calm you down even if you're legitimately frustrated. You can realize you have options like logging off for the day.
In other words you can acknowledge your anger without letting it control you. I think this is a better approach because it doesn't imagine the ideal human as some kind of emotionless robot.
exercise to cope with life? ewww i will stick to harmful substances and food. more dignified approach.
May 16, 2018
0
#13
some people get really angry but i dont get it. my more natural reaction is wanting to rush home or to my hotel room to go over my game with the engine to see where i could have made improvements, or whether this line one line i considered but didnt play was sound. If you see every game as a chance to further improve on something you didnt know, you willl almost be thankful , not angry when a lost game means honing in on some imperfection in your skillset.
Last night I was watching a rerun of The Sopranos and the episode revolved around anger management. As I played today and lost I found myself getting angry, as I always do when I lose. Like most chess players, I became angry with myself, for either not being smart enough or fast enough. At this writing I have lost around 200 rating points in the last week and the frustration has been building. Losing to time, when far ahead in material is particularly irritating. Then I remembered the show from last night and one thing stuck in my head, as the core lesson. Regardless of the source of one's anger (either yourself, another person or chance circumstances are to blame), a person has to identify that it's his or her own mind that generates the anger, via perception. So I just realized I have nothing to be angry about. if I lost and was up material, then I simply played a faster player, but was superior in play. If I lose to superior play, then I have the opportunity to learn from the mistake, again not something to be upset over. So once I have a good winning streak and get over 1200 (bullet) I can feel the palpable fear of losing as I play. Thus enters the "risk vs reward" factor. This can negatively affect my manner of play and all around enjoyment while playing. Again it boils down to perception. Finally, I am reminded of the book "The Power of Positive Thinking", which is still probably the best best self help book ever written and required reading for high caliber sales people. I suddenly find myself free of the anger that encompassed me earlier and felt that sharing my experience with others who play this game, may help them as well. There are plenty of others who express their frustration by messaging or disconnecting. However, I am sure there are many more, like myself, who keep it to themselves and allow the anger to negatively impact their real lives. So next time you find yourself worked up over a losing streak, you can think about this post and log off with a smile on your face.