Another Round of Awkward Statements made by Parents with Kids who play chess

1) "I want a grandmaster to teach my son the best tricks to win fast"

2) "How soon will my son play all the steps correctly to win"

3) "My daughter is a beginner, I am looking for a chess master to teach her for free"

4) "I want my son to learn everything in one week"

5) "In my school days, I was a chess champion, I killed all the coins of my opponent every game"

6) "What is your chess ranking in the world, I want my son to become a top chess ranker in a years time"

7) "Can you teach my son checkmate strategy for tomorrow's tournament"

LOL, the pain a chess coach has to go through!!! The best response to such statements is the counter gambit which pays handsomely, ie " I see in your offspring the new champion , never b4 have I seen such raw talent at such a young age, it has to be good genes", 

lol