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Can I Become GM in 29 Days?

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AceOfGames
ivandh wrote:

I have played chess on and off for years but am now getting really serious about it. How long is it until I become GM? I'm thinking two weeks ought to do it but my friend said no way. I think he's just jealous of my extreme talent, which has yet to show itself in any way, but it exists I swear.

Seriously though, look at my intense training schedule:

Monday: Play chess

Tuesday: Play chess

Wednesday: Bag off

Thursday: Kick myself for not playing on Wednesday

Friday: Drink and play chess

Saturday: Drink

Sunday: Rest day

With that much practice getting to super GM status in a month should be doable. You guys should totally agree with me.

Somebody tell Magnus he better start worrying.

Warning: this is funny, you should not take it seriously or get worked up about it in any way. Unless you're one of those people, in which case you should stop being one of those people.

ha good one

AceOfGames
Silvan wrote:

You're never going to reach your goal in just 29 days.  It's impossible.  However, for just $199.95 USD per dose, I can sell you little red pills that vastly improve your chess stamina and computational power.  If you down an entire bottle of these things (5,000 doses) every other hour for 29 days, you ought to be able to beat Deep Blue in no time.  Please write a check in advance for $347,913,000.000 USD payable to Super Duper Chess Pill Dude, Walla Walla, WA 90210 and I will get those pills out to you directly.

For a limited time only, PRICES ARE SLASHED!!!!!  That's right, SLASHED!!!!!!!!  For the one time only incredibly low bargain basement price of just $1,000,000 I will supply you with enough little red chess improvement pills to guarantee your GM status in 29 days or less, or YOUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEED!  This ENORMOUS bargain represents a savings of $346,913,000 and you will never see an opportunity this good come by again as long as you live!

Order in the next 12 minutes, and I will throw in a free bonus bottle, a teddy bear, and a pasta maker as my special exclusive gift to you!

omg

RonaldJosephCote

              hahahahaa  Silvan;  But wait!, if you call in the next 10 minutes, that's right, we will double your order. Have your credit card handy.

AceOfGames
InfiniteFlash wrote:
Conflagration_Planet wrote:

If you chew enough gum.

If you take the u out of gum, then yes.

i see what u did there

heinzie

Are you going to wait for a leap year to do this?

Senator-Blutarsky

Yep! he can do it! he's sending out all the right vibes.

EDB123

he can do it because it is impossible.

Senator-Blutarsky

"to dream the undreamable dream,

to drive the undriveable car,

to smoke the unsmokeable cig-ar,

to reach the un-reach-a-bull starrrrrrr!!"

EDB123

that's just weird, man

Jion_Wansu

In a kibitz/casual game without clock at the chess club on Friday I beat a 2100 USCF rated player and I'm only rated about 1330 USCF. It went all the way to the endgame. I was up one pawn.

finaltrap

CP6033

Warning: this is funny, you should not take it seriously or get worked up about it in any way. Unless you're one of those people, in which case you should stop being one of those people.

shoot, can't make it bigger! I have a good way to become a GM in 6 month with just two simple steps. 

#1 get a coach who can put all his time into you

#2 Study 14 hours a day 6 days a week with your coach, if you do 

not reach at least 2300 within 6 months you either have to fire 

your coach, or do some serious brain test to see if you are mentally ok



haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaLaughing

Conflagration_Planet
dashkee94 wrote:

The town deserted GC because the Millers were coming.

Damn! I know that. Why did they desert him because of that?

 
 
 
winerkleiner

Cool a thread inside a thread...yes High Noon was excellent and yes you can become a GM in 29 days, I did!

Conflagration_Planet
winerkleiner wrote:

Cool a thread inside a thread...yes High Noon was excellent and yes you can become a GM in 29 days, I did!

Why did the town turn on the hero, just because the anti-hero was coming?

 
 
 
rooperi

You should adopt the mannerisms of GM's. It is well known that Russian grandmasters ofter stare at the ceiling when it's their turn to move. I suggest ceiling-staring for Mondays.

winerkleiner
Conflagration_Planet wrote:
winerkleiner wrote:

Cool a thread inside a thread...yes High Noon was excellent and yes you can become a GM in 29 days, I did!

Why did the town turn on the hero, just because the anti-hero was coming?

 
 
 

I really didn't see it, but I'm guessing because the hero was a zero.  

electricpawn

yes, you can become a master in 29 days, and I have a program I can sell you that will make you an MD in three weeks!

adil89

You must understand that to become a GM, you must know the secret of C.H.E.S.S

 

C= Always take control of 'C' file.

H=Ignore threats along H file, dont react unnecessarily.

E= You must always have a Pawn on 'E' file.

S=Sleep well

S= Smile 

Senator-Blutarsky

Another unexplored option is to lobby FIDE to allow a few wildcard GM titles to be bestowed on the people's choice. 

Senator-Blutarsky
EDB123 wrote:

that's just weird, man

It does sound better in audio.