Well, I don't mind if my opponent disables the chat immediately, it just shows they want to focus on the game, and they don't care to chat while playing. What kills me is when I get a winning position, without having obvious mating threats, and my opponent disables the chat. That's just bad sportsmanship, and everyone will hate you for it. Of course, those who gloat over the game, such as the "haha" comment, deserve to have the chat box disabled. Give them a "Good Sportsmanship" trophy! 
Chatting during chess
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I like to chat some - not every move, but I do like to make friends at this. I despise playing against hateful players, regardless.
I hate some people. I wish them good luck and they say nothing back. Are they blind? Self centered? Egoists? Arogant? Behaving is primary at chess and it's one of the things that divide us from animals. I have been taught that chess opponents should always shake hands before chess game starts. Anyway those people I really try to beat if they don't know how to behave...
What is it with people who feel the need to say "good luck" before every single game. What does that even mean? If you say it every time to every person you play, it's just a shallow formality. What's so polite about that? And then they act all high and mighty like they're better than you if you don't participate in their shallow formalities. It's disturbing what some people find important.
I've read your posts -- you are a bright guy. Surely you get the distinction between not initiating a chat and ignoring one that has already been initiated?
Can you explain to me what is the point of saying "good luck" before every single game? You don't know any of the people you play, you say it to anyone without discretion. So, there is no personal message. You're not actually saying it to me, you're saying it "for politeness". And all you're really doing is making work for me, because now I have to write back to you or for some reason all heck breaks loose and society and civilization as we know it will crumble. So in fact, you've done less than a courtesy to me with your little "good luck" intrusion into my life.
Mar 1, 2010
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#9
Yes. I often worry about being rude. I try not to.
I think it's good to say hello and good luck or possibly just hello.
I often think that luck has nothing to do with success in chess, but maybe that's another forum topic.
Here are two other chat box experiences I had.
In one game I asked my opponent if he was playing for a draw. After that he resigned and said that since I'd had trouble in the endgame, he thought he might try but since I asked the question I clearly knew what I was doing.
I had to laugh a bit at that because the chances were good that even though I had a commanding material advantage, I've often slipped into a draw after positions like that.
In another game, where my opponent thought he was winning, we almost had a draw by repetition. One of us could have claimed it. He got mad when I asked him if he was playing for the draw.
Is it bad manners to ask the opponent if they want a draw?
The only good way to ask if someone is playing for a draw is to offer them one.
I enjoy having a nice conversation with my opponents; it at lest me know that it's not the worst thing that could possibly happen, because they were kind about it.
I could understand if someone didn't like "good luck", I use it because it has a little formality to it. I don't mind if someone decides to disable chat; it's fine, if you want to play the game in absolute silence, don't let me get in the way.
I will disable chat it someone is downright rude; no, not really, I'll call them out on it. Rudeness is not something to be tolerated, it is a cancer that needs to be pulled from the root; and dragged into the sunlight of purity, it can crawl back into the shadows of forgiveness when the deed is done.
Mar 1, 2010
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#12
But Loomis, what if i don't want a draw? Offering one would be a mistake if I'm playing for the win.
I deal with draws using the "offer draw" button, not the chat box. It just seems like the formal, official way is the best way do do something that actually affects the outcome of the game.
My pet peeve is when people decline a draw offer that I clearly can (and intend to) force, and I've wanted to explain to them in the chat box that the draw will happen anyway, but I've had the self-control not to lol.
Some people just don't want to talk, I always say hi and most of the time no response. There were a few times when I was playing as a greeter the other guy was so obnoxious and rude I didn't just quit the chat but quit the game as well.The only good one was some kid being all mouthy and then after all that I just played my checkmate and said good game. Don't let them draw you in.
Most of the time though I don't chat, maybe if they make a good move I mention it or if I blundder I try to laugh it off or something.
If you say hi and they don't reply in the first few moves then I tend now to just quit chat. The only thing it complicates are draws, as when I offer a draw I always just say that if they can see another way or anything like that even if I lose then we'll keep playing.
Arstan wrote:
But Loomis, what if i don't want a draw? Offering one would be a mistake if I'm playing for the win.
Would you ask your opponent other strategic questions during the game?
If you're playing over the board and say the word "draw" in any context you're making a draw offer.
Loomis, you are right. If everyone is special, then no one is special. If you are all my best friends, then none of you are. OK, I get that. I cannot speak for anyone else, but my contention is NOT that 1) thou shalt say "good luck" or 2) if you don't then you are rude. For emphasis, I repeat that this is not my contention. Rather, the issue I am trying to address is how one responds once the ice is broken. For better or for worse, someone has greeted you, be it with a simple "hello" or a cryptic "good luck". I can go so far as to see your point that this is so standard that maybe, just maybe, it requires no reply, although a reply still seems better than none. But this theme goes further. In many cases, a conversation starts, goes both ways, and then, with no reason, one party simply stops communicating.
Four times I've had the experience here of playing a good game, engaging in a lively conversation, and agreeing to play a rematch after this one was over (both parties agreed). Then, when I sent the second challenge, it was neither accepted nor rejected; it was ignored. Follow-up message, also ignored. Before you call me a stalker, please bear in mind the context; this followed a friendly conversation and the explicit agreement to play another game. So yet another follow-up message, also ignored. Rude? I would say so.
If someone says "good luck" to me, should I say "good luck" back? Surely it's a contradiction that we would both have good luck! And I wouldn't want to start a fight over it.
Vance, is that in live chess? One issue I have in live chess is that you never know when the other person has closed the window. I never know if I'm sending my messages out to nobody.
Loomis wrote:
It's disturbing what some people find important.
Yes, like bizarre prejudices against common courtesy. If it's unimportant to you, and apparently important to your opponents, what does it hurt to respond with a quick "GL"?
Do you ever disable the chat boxes when you play?
I like chatting with friendly players however the vast majority of my games don't have any chatting at all. That's just fine with me.
However, I'm a little frustrated that in a recent game my opponent (ranked 2206) accused me of cheating. Am I supposed to take that as a backhanded compliment or something?
It always strikes me as strange when someone disables the chat box as soon as a game starts, but now it seems like it might be for the best.
I've also had a game recently where someone won my queen with a nice move and then wrote "haha" in the chat box. "Haha"?
What's that about? And what response could I make except to close that chat box.
I guess a corollary to what I'm saying is do people use the chat box to play mind games and try to influence play in that way.
Anyway, I just wanted to vent. I'm not that good. I don't dream of ever being rated 2000 online or anything like that. I just play for fun and I enjoy learning the game. But being accused of cheating really rankles me.