will you be just as abusive back or more abusive back?
Chatting during chess
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same as they give to me
Jun 9, 2010
0
#124
So will you need a referee to ensure you don't abuse any less or more than the abuse originally received? What measuring tool will you be using?
use my judgement.If im slightly out dont matter as i didnt start it
Jun 9, 2010
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#126
rdecredico wrote:
Loomis wrote:
What is it with people who feel the need to say "good luck" before every single game. What does that even mean? If you say it every time to every person you play, it's just a shallow formality. What's so polite about that? And then they act all high and mighty like they're better than you if you don't participate in their shallow formalities. It's disturbing what some people find important.
It is these shallow formalities that are the social lubricant between people and keep tensions and stress from rising.
Maybe you should study some communicatve theory and humanism...or you could just keep being an isolated putz.
Your choice.
I'm guessing he will go with continuing to be an isolated putz.
No, I fully agree that it really sucks all the meaning out of something when it's merely an expected formality. It doesn't mean that shallow formalities don't have their place, but we should recognize them for what they are.
"How are you today?", "I'm fine", "Good Game", "Good Luck" and so on. I think that recognizing these allows us to better choose our words so that we actually mean what we say even when it's just a shallow formality.
For example, I much prefer "Thanks for the game" to "Good Game" unless it actually was a good game. The former is a shallow formality, but not inconsistent with what I intend to convey -- I reserve the latter for when it is actually appropriate so that it does not lose it's meaning, at least when I say it.
Jun 9, 2010
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#129
Cystem_Phailure wrote:
trysts wrote:
It looks like the guy in black is running towards the other guy for help while his own arm continues to attack his back
Hey! I'm playing that defence in two of my current games!
Hilarious!
Jun 9, 2010
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#130
>I believe in an eye for an eye.If someone is abusive to me I will be abusive back.
That's the mature approach! I remember kids like that back in third grade.
Jun 9, 2010
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#131
TheGrobe wrote:
No, I fully agree that it really sucks all the meaning out of something when it's merely an expected formality. It doesn't mean that shallow formalities don't have their place, but we should recognize them for what they are.
"How are you today?", "I'm fine", "Good Game", "Good Luck" and so on. I think that recognizing these allows us to better choose our words so that we actually mean what we say even when it's just a shallow formality.
For example, I much prefer "Thanks for the game" to "Good Game" unless it actually was a good game. The former is a shallow formality, but not inconsistent with what I intend to convey -- I reserve the latter for when it is actually appropriate so that it does not lose it's meaning, at least when I say it.
Good comment. Good luck with the next one.
Jun 9, 2010
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#132
To be polite or not to be polite, that is the question.
Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of shallow formalities.
Or to take arms against a sea of friendliness and by opposing reject them
Jun 9, 2010
0
#133
padman wrote:
If possible I sing to my adversary over an internet phone before and after the contest. Maybe I'll deliver the chorus a few times during the game as well but not everybody appreciates it.
Depends . . . are you a nice baritone or bass, or a screechy tenor?
But isn't saying something you don't really mean, or allowing it to become such a rote and methodical process that it loses its meaning completely, somewhat disingenuous? How is that "friendly"? I prefer to actually communicate and say what I mean -- I think that anyone you intend to be friendly with deserves that much.
Jun 9, 2010
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#135
no need for how are you today, bla bla..
A hi, good luck is nice, if you get it.. or just good luck... but fine if you/they don't say anything...
What I do find rude, is if you do say it to your opponent and they don't reply or return the friendly sentiment... just an acknowledgement of the greeting.
Reminds me of people who go to purchase something.. checkout operator gives them their change and the purchaser doesn't even say thanks.
Cystem_Phailure wrote:
>I believe in an eye for an eye.If someone is abusive to me I will be abusive back.
That's the mature approach! I remember kids like that back in third grade.
Disparaging the Laws of Hammurabi! For shame.
Jun 9, 2010
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#137
What we are looking for here is a way to acknowlege your opponent before starting a game. In OTB games it is done by shaking hands. This is simply a way of showing respect. (Even boxers shake hands before beating the cr*p out of each other )
Maybe there should be a little "shake hands" button that we all have to press before a game can start.
.... only a suggestion .. 
Jun 9, 2010
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#138
chess_kebabs wrote:
no need for how are you today, bla bla..
A hi, good luck is nice, if you get it.. or just good luck... but fine if you/don't say anything...
what I find rude, is if you say it to your opponent and they don't reply or return the friendly sentiment... just an acknowledgement of the greeting.
reminds me of people who go to purchase something.. checkout operator gives them their change and the purchaser doesn't even say thanks.
I start a game and say "Hi". After the greeting is returned, many people say "Good luck". I don't find it insulting, I just don't know how to respond. So I'm one of those people who say nothing.
Jun 9, 2010
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#139
TheGrobe wrote:
But isn't saying something you don't really mean, or allowing it to become such a rote and methodical process that it loses its meaning completely, somewhat disingenuous? How is that "friendly"? I prefer to actually communicate and say what I mean -- I think that anyone you intend to be friendly with deserves that much.
I agree, but we encounter people all the time that we don't "intend to be friendly with", or ever see again, and a chess game over the Internet can be analagous to that. How many times do I encounter someone at a place of business-- a cashier, a clerk stocking a shelf I'm walking past-- or on the sidewalk or wherever that I know I'll never see again, but we still exchange standard "trite" greetings or acknowledgements, whether it's just meeting eyes and nodding our heads at one another or exchanging "how's it going" and neither of us expecting, or having time for, an answer. It can still help brighten a day. For the very few people who's day is actually made worse because they brood and overanalyze such formalities (not saying your comment indicates this, grobe, but we've had some other contributions of this type), well, tough. Go rain on someone else's parade.
Jun 9, 2010
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#140
trysts wrote:
chess_kebabs wrote:
no need for how are you today, bla bla..
A hi, good luck is nice, if you get it.. or just good luck... but fine if you/don't say anything...
what I find rude, is if you say it to your opponent and they don't reply or return the friendly sentiment... just an acknowledgement of the greeting.
reminds me of people who go to purchase something.. checkout operator gives them their change and the purchaser doesn't even say thanks.
I start a game and say "Hi". After the greeting is returned, many people say "Good luck". I don't find it insulting, I just don't know how to respond. So I'm one of those people who say nothing.
um... you say good luck back... and it's done...
but the fact you said hi, it's a greeting, acknowledgement and a lot better than ignoring someone who greets you..
like I said, to me, total silence is fine if both doing it... but if opponent does greet you and/or wishes you luck, it's just decent manners to return the sentiment.. don't need a university degree to work out how to reply to good luck or hello.
I believe in an eye for an eye.If someone is abusive to me I will be abusive back.