Chess and negativity

When I'm playing people online and they're losing, they often just let the timer run down rather than resign, or leave the game without resigning. I get this reaction at least half the time I win against people.

This seems to show that the negative emotion of anger is far more common in chess than people want to admit.

It also serves to reinforce the lesson, since chess does have the potential to cause such emotional distress, it is better to do what I do and simply not play against people if you think they stand a good chance of beating you.

Remember, never give anyone ranked higher than you the satisfaction of beating you. If you do this, you're only serving to boost their confidence and make them happy at the expense of your suffering.

When I want a challenge, I play rated games against Rybka 4 (I set Rybka lower than the maximum setting of course, but still high enough to beat me). When Rybka beats me, I don't care. Part of the unpleasantness of losing comes from the knowledge that the person who beat you is walking around happy because of it, thinking they're better than you, but a chess engine can never think it's better than you.

Of course I'm not happy when I lose but I really don't have the feeling that I should prevent someone from having the satisfaction of beating me and boosting their confidence.

I mean, seriously, what kind of attitude is that?

Last time at the Club a guy beat me up pretty brutally. And that while he had 5 minutes for his moves while I had 10. I think he played really good and so it's a well deserved accomplishment for him.

For me it doesn't mean I suffer, it simply means I need more practice.

Will he think he's better than me? Of course! And guess what, that's mainly because he actually is!

You played that game OTB Xilmi, and that's different. It's easy to be friendly OTB, I'm talking about online chess which is a lot meaner.

I think you should get a chess engine under hyponosis and ask it to explain how it really feels about you when it beats you.  I'm not convinced that chess engines are really as neutral as they pretend to be.

I acknowledge your perspective, but I disagree with you.  Chess is not meant to be a game of emotions.  It is a game of strategy and outwitting your opponents by using your mind. 

If you avoid playing others who are rated higher than you, then it is a form of capitulation in the face of adversity.  If you believe that your opponent will defeat you simply because he or she is rated higher, then you are defeated before you play the match.

If you are a casual player with no interest in getting better, then perhaps avoiding disappointment by playing "lesser" opponents will suit you well.  However, if you aim to get better, then you must learn from your losses when playing higher rated players.  No pain, no gain.

I fear no opponent because every opponent on this chess site can be defeated. 

The chess engine enjoys defeating you as much as any other opponent. 

It says:  "Pathetic Human..." after every victory against a human opponent.

When I defeat a chess engine, my reaction is:  "Bow before your Master!!!" 

Mine is, "When will hors d'oeurves be served? And will there be wine?"

Rybka 4 has dialogue programed into it, so it will say funny things when you beat it or if you propose a draw. However, it is impossible to see Rybka as the enemy since when you play rated games with it it's under training and there are many other training tools it has, so overall it has a helpful instructor type feel.

Unicron, chess is a game of emotions whether you like it or not. Even people who try to stay calm get upset when they lose, though they may not show it.

"However, if you aim to get better, then you must learn from your losses when playing higher rated players.  No pain, no gain."

What player could be higher rated than Rybka? I'll take a million losses to Rybka over 1 loss to a human.

Emotions while playing a game of chess is for the weak.  Learning to be indifferent to winning or losing means putting the game into its proper perspective... chess is only a game.  Win or lose, it changes nothing.

With respect to your desire to lose to a chess engine, you should reconsider the original post.  His comment was that he preferred to avoid playing higher rated players because he did not want to give satisfaction to such players upon losing.  

Um, I'm the one who wrote the original post??

It's not a desire to lose to a chess engine, it's not minding.

"Emotions while playing a game is for the weak" Wow there must be a lot of weak people in the world then judging from how often people just let the time run down or leave without resiging. I'm sure you're completely emotionless though and losing doesn't bother you one bit.

/facepalm

Egomaniacs who won't resign thought resigning is quitting which is a negative thing. Resign simply means retreat and fight another game. Resigning is a sign of respect which is a positive thing. Allowing time to run out is disrespect which is negative.

I'm curious what the rating is of these people you typically play. I'm also curious about the time control. In 3 minute it almost never happens and at 1600+ rating it almost never happens.

Also your idea of "dont play higher rated players because they'll beat you and  then they'll be happy about it" is one of the most idiotic things i've ever heard. Not only does it sound anti-social, it is also one of the most destructive things you can do to chances of improvement as a chess player.

I ONLY play against higher rated people, and when I lose i don't care, because in general i'm expected to lose. What happens if you win though? Well because you won you played at a stronger level than your previous rating suggested. If you drew, you matched evenly with a stronger opponent, which is a good result. These are all psychological reasons why playing a stronger opponent is a good thing. But the biggest one is the fact that playing stronger opponents is one of the best things you can do to improve. It also introduces you to new patterns and ideas, which is one of things that makes chess great (the constant learning).

BTW my rating has steadily improved since i've switched to "only play people stronger than you"

Looking at your last 10 games it looks like you're playing people equal to you, oh, except for that one guy you played who was rated 1100. Welp, so much for your "I only play people higher than me" boast.

By the way, the "you get better by playing people stronger than you" myth has been thoroughly debunked. People get better at an intellectual skill by having fun with it and being motivated to learn, and it's easier to have fun when you play against people equal to or less than you, not play againsts stronger people and get discouraged. You probably also agree with disciplinarian parents who think beating their kids makes them stronger.

Hey Chess_gg, I see since the last time we had this discussion that you've finished 3 more games on chess.com. I see that yet again they were all played against people ranging from 123-259 points worse than you.

Why is it that the people who feel compelled to proclaim the so-called virtues of "playing people better than you" and boast that they never get upset when they lose, never actually play people better than themselves?

You're looking at my latest online games, in which I didn't bother to switch the rating ranges. How about looking at all my blitz games?

Also I would like to see any evidence that "playing people stronger than you doesn't make you better". How you can believe that "you get better by playing people stronger than you is a myth is beyond me.

Also you say that i'm the type of person that believes that parents should beat their kids? How is this at all related? You're either crazy or very stupid.

" and it's easier to have fun when you play against people equal to or less than you"

completely a matter of opinion, i already gave a bunch of reasons why you can go into a game as a weaker player and still have a mental edge

"ot play againsts stronger people and get discouraged."

again a matter of opinion, you don't get discouraged unless you have an ego and can't stand the thought that someone can outplay you/play better/be better. You will never get good at this game if you can't stand losing, because that's one of the only ways you get better.

Btw im done with you, i'm fairly sure your next response will be even dumber than the first so i wont bother.

More than likely, it's an evil plot to get you to play against them because they are rated better than you so they can steal your rating points and gain more confidence.

Those human chess players feed off confidence like it's a drug and they get their next fix off beating you.

I think your heart is in the right place not giving them the chance to get confident at your expense and would report their scheme to the authorities.

Playing against better players does not help one improves. Unless you analyze the games you lost and discover the mistakes. Without discovering the mistakes, the same mistakes will be repeated again and again.