Chess has ruined more great minds then drugs

And that is a fact. I used to play in alot of tourneys when i was younger and chess is addictive. You go to sleep thinking about chess, you wake up thinking about chess, it is a drug.

lets enjoy some delicious tamales...

And it is still true

The government says chess increases mental capacity...

Chess is great for the mind, but it is also a drug when you get to a certain level.

Carmilla, a short story published in 1872, appears to be the first gay vampire. Sorry

This isn't real life...

Then Fritz Haarmann was the first real-life gay vampire. Almost a century before you. 

I think chess is the best psychotherapy ever invented. It makes you repress all the morons that might plague your life.