So Magnus Carlsen looks over at the other board and thinks, "Fool! He didn't see mate in 17!".
Chess Jokes!!!
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.......and she's says "is that a pawn in your pocket!".
MrDamonSmith wrote:
.......and she's says "is that a pawn in your pocket!".
And he answers: "Well yes! Now if I could only find the rest of my travel Chess set, so we could shoot some dandy games together!" in the most dorkiest voice imaginable.
Jun 23, 2013
0
#45
Two Chess players were debating a line in the Sicilian Defense, when all of a sudden a gun nut apears and starts talking about Yugoslavia in the 50's, and the chess players reply that the dragon is very sharp The gun nut thinks they are talking about bayonettes... after a while, they all leave, The Gun nut not realizing that the chess players were talking about openings, and the chess players not knowing that the gun nut was talking about Guns.
anyone want to take a guess at the openings that were being discussed.
Is the King's Gambit one of them? :)
jetfighter13 wrote:
Two Chess players were debating a line in the Sicilian Defense, when all of a sudden a gun nut apears and starts talking about Yugoslavia in the 50's, and the chess players reply that the dragon is very sharp The gun nut thinks they are talking about bayonettes... after a while, they all leave, The Gun nut not realizing that the chess players were talking about openings, and the chess players not knowing that the gun nut was talking about Guns.
anyone want to take a guess at the openings that were being discussed.
Yugoslav Attack in the Sicilian Dragon for sure, and the other one is probably the Bayonet Attack in the Classical King's Indian.
Jun 23, 2013
0
#48
KG is not one of them, But the Yugoslav and the Bayonet is another, but there is a third, The Kalashnikov Sicilian (Probably not named after the AK 47 which is the acronym for Avtomat Kalashnikova, which translates to Kalashnikov's Automatic rifle, and no I do not speak Russian)
His mom probably cannot help him, lol! 
MrDamonSmith wrote:
.......and she's says "is that a pawn in your pocket!".
No, it's a forking Knight.
i just made it up.
Me too.
Jun 24, 2013
0
#53
Puchiko wrote:
In 1972 a group of Soviet gulag prisoners listened to the first five games of the Fischer-Spassky world championship match on a smuggled radio. At that point the match was tied at 2.5 points each, and just before game 6 the prison guards discovered the radio, confiscating it before the hapless prisoners could learn the outcome of the match.
Some two weeks later, a new prisoner arrived in the camp. Eagerly crowding around the newcomer, the prisoners pressed him for the final results of the match, whereupon he sadly replied, “I lost.”
From: Kurtgodden's blogpost: Chess Jokes: Practical and otherwise
That was a really good one...
I GIMPED the original Picture a bit ...
to add 3 missing ones and 1 custom one (China)
Oh NO! China has a mate in one! We will lose!
lol I completely overlooked this :D
Wait, doesn't white move first?
Jun 24, 2013
0
#58
Funny position. White can hold for four moves I think:
1. de3: gf2:+ 2. Kf2: g3+ 3. hg3: hg3:+ 4. Ke1 f2#
My guess is that Black has forced mate though.
EDIT : lol I just noticed Lucky Loek's post right before mine 
How much Ivanwood could Ivanchuck chuck if Ivanchuck could chuck Ivanwood?