chess lessons by patzers?!

It's a footnote in Kotov's Think Like a GM. I remembered and pulled it off the shelf and found it.

I'm old school. I google all the time but my era was one of books and needing to remember it all.

(Lost opportunity to claim to be well-read in the Russian classics.)

Ostap Bender is also mentioned in a few paragraphs in Mikhail Tal's autobiography

Things I've learned from this thread:

1. Practiced psychological therapy has no scientific and/or factual backing whatsoever

2. Playing the guitar requires only route memorization of the simplest order, there is no degree of fast and lateral thinking required, nor a good understanding of musical theory to say the least

3. If you aren't AT LEAST an IM (and maybe that's stretching it thin), you aren't even qualified to talk about how the pieces move, let alone already common knowledge

burnsy, I'm the official coach here at chess.com.

If you can prove to me via message, i may consider helping you.      

It is blatantly obvious to me you seek some form of recognition, it's not your fault that you are not highly rated......unlucky, busy, tools......etc etc etc.

Take owernship to your own downfalls and life will improve : )

No, it's:

Those who can, do.

Those who can't do, teach.

Those who can't teach, teach gym glass.

Oh, sorry then, I guess I should take my coaching page off. 

To be perfectly serious, though, my coaching page was made due to a NM asking me to make it, not by my own initiative, in order to teach complete beginners of the game. I don't think that would be ludicrous, as it would be really wasteful to pay a GM to do so. Yes, his analysis will be way better, but a beginner doesn't need analysis, he needs basic tactics, checkmates, simple strategy (bad bishop, good bishop), etc.

It would be disastrous if a player like myself would advertise that he could get you to master level, but as long as we low rated players stick to teaching absolute beginners, I don't see anything wrong with that. 

Oh and by the way, I have not, and do not plan on, earning money for this, only teaching experience. And, as someone pointed out before, it's more about your ability to teach rather than your ability to play. Of course, it doesn't hurt to have a little bit of both.

I think I made my point pretty clear in the post. Don't feel the need to keep on exhausting it just yet.

No, it's not.

If you're personally offended by this thread's title, you probably shouldn't leave the house.

I'm personally offended by the very idea of chess itself. What, you send random soldiers out to die ON PURPOSE? You force horses to jump all the way over MOVING CASTLES? You fight with an ARMY OF TRANSVESTITES? Pro players send the queen right into enemy lines on the second move - PROMOTING MISOGYNY? You can use bishops, but NO RABIS? Teaching youg children how to FORK AND SKEWER women? White goes first - if this were a sand game, white would get FIVE MOVES BEFORE BLACK DOES.

Jesus, I find something new wrong with this game every time I play it

Im glad I'm not the only one who has been perplexed by that weird desire of pawns to become queens.

You wouldn't be the first twenty-something to express such a perplexity, only to end up in a wig and heels, in his forties.

Something to look forward to, eh?

It's all part of the magic!

I see you have some experience with that ...did it disappoint you to get old and find yourself getting permanently mated on your weak back rank or was it just a slow build up from a tormented youth? At least your name makes perfect sense now!

You young fellows have it all figured out.

Doggy_Style wrote:

Magnet-21 wrote:

I see you have some experience with that ...did it disappoint you to get old and find yourself getting permanently mated on your weak back rank or was it just a slow build up from a tormented youth? At least your name makes perfect sense now!

You young fellows have it all figured out.

I am loving the fact that u r rated 900 in blitz but u teach up to 1400.. It's another case of I know it all...

For one thing, I don't teach blitz. I'm loving your 1000 rating in Online Chess, by the way! Read my post at the top, I already made myself clear, mkay? Keep on blitzing, that sure is good chess!

But anyway, if I want to help beginners out, you can't do a thing to stop me. Feel free to moan and be a female doggy about it :)

Thanks for checking out my profile :) no u r right I can't help but look in as a low rated player teaches people 500 point above his rating..

Whoever posted below me is right. Enough is enough.

((Edited))