Chess Related Jokes
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Best thing to come out of Happy Days was Laverne and Shirley. No wait, make that Mork and Mindy.
How about 'Joanie Loves Chatchie'! No, hang on, that was pants!
TonyGas wrote: i would say that monty python has the edge on pee wee herman.please explain your comment.
I appreciate British humor, but I take offense to you using Pee Wee Herman as our type of humor! There are so many better examples of american humor, such as Adam Sandler, Dane Cook, Jerry Sienfeld, etc... Monty Python is very funny though, I am not disagreeing with that, but give us a break, just cause Pee Wee Herman is an american doesn't mean that all american humor is like that!
Please dont take offence, this is a light hearted topic that has so far been fun. It seems to me that you are a pretty humourless person and maybe you should check out another forum. Why not try 'chess openings' for example?
I would never argue that murshid, but why come to a forum thread about a light hearted subject and take offence? This site caters for people like syrianchessmaster on plenty of forums. I dont come on this site to offend but I certainly wont walk on egg shells for anyone. Where have all the fun people gone? Maybe the moon is in Uranus, murshid. Something certainly is.
Sep 20, 2007
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#67
I can see what Syrianchessmasters getting at though. I've seen some of them awful Richard Curtis films like Notting hill, 4 weddings and bloody love actually, and i'm thinking whether other countries think that we're all new labour luvvies who read the daily mail ( tory paper, i know ), live next to the Thames, open our front doors to the sight of Big Ben ( you might Tony ) and all sound like we've been to bloody Eton! What happened to your Colin Mcrae joke by the way? I think i may not mention the Renault McCann one i heard at work monday.
Andrew my Colin McCrae gag dissapeared into hyper space never to be seen again. I heard the Renault McCann joke myself and if you really want to be provocative, that is the baby. Syrianchessmaster(bater), does anyone really care what he think? He pops on, takes offence, and buggers off again. Come to think of it, Syria...comedy? they have about as much in common as osama bin laden and Vidal Sassoon!
and by the way...up the Spurs!
Sep 20, 2007
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#69
TonyGas wrote:
Andrew my Colin McCrae gag dissapeared into hyper space never to be seen again. I heard the Renault McCann joke myself and if you really want to be provocative, that is the baby. Syrianchessmaster(bater), does anyone really care what he think? He pops on, takes offence, and buggers off again. Come to think of it, Syria...comedy? they have about as much in common as osama bin laden and Vidal Sassoon!
and by the way...up the Spurs!
Yes. Mr Bator is a bit sensitive isn't he. Not another spurs fan. My mate at work follows 'em. My ex-wife buggered off to Stevenage with one ( chat rooms, eh ). Up the gooners i say!
Bloody gooners! No wonder your missus buggered off! There are advantages to being a yid. Being smeg free is one of them. Chat rooms have caused thousands of marriage break ups over the last few years and I've read that friendsreunited has a lot to answer for too. Mind you, I bet mr bator has never had to worry about such things. Do you pop across the border much? They are mostly illiterate there so you wouldnt have to worry about chat rooms.
maybe I over reacted, I know that your humor is different than mine Mr. TonyGas and thats fine I was just trying to point out that Pee Wee Herman was a bad example of american humor.
You obviously have a good sense of humour syrianchessmaster, or you wouldnt have put that absolutely hilarious picture of yourself on here. Thats a great chin, I bet you can get pickles out of a jar with it lol. No offence meant, honest. 
Only Jay Leno Rivals me!!! I bet you wish your chin was as amazing as mine!
Red Dwarf was good in its first two seasons, and Monty Python was great. Also, Blue Collar TV and Mind of Mencia are total crap. So, it would seem that the Brits are a couple points up, but I'll take Zach Galiafinakis, David Cross, or Thomas Lennon over Eddie Izzard any day.
There must be times in your life, when having a grand chin is positively advantageous. I bet when you are playing live chess you can make a move whilst eating a sandwich. We have a bloke in Britain called Bruce Forsyth. He is a game show host and has been around for about two hundred years. Anyway, he has got a chin to rival yours, maybe even top it. He wears a wig to take the emphasis off it though. have you ever considered that? You may have noticed I'm slightly challenged in that area myself.
hmmmm.... interesting, maybe if I got a woman's wig like cher's so that its so long that it covers my whole face and my whole chin? Though I probably wouldnb't be able to see well, but that is the style all the young kids are doing these days in the states. Having a grand chin is very helpful playing live chess cause it distracts the opponent and hit my chess clock faster using it!
I have to agree with you there SFS. Eddie Izzard is a scary man, certainly not a comedian. I'm afraid I dont know the guys you mentioned there, are they stand ups? My favourite from your side of the pond was Richard Prior (God bless him). In fact, I think he was one of my faves from either side of the pond. I thought Jim Carrey was great at stand up too. We got some great ones over here though, Lee Evans, Billy Connelly, Peter Kaye, Roy Chubby Brown.... actually, forget Roy, he is pants.
Sep 21, 2007
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#78
Lets make it clear TG i'm not a gooner, i follow AFC Telford utd in the conference north.If i had to follow a premiership club then it would be Aston Villa cuz me old mans from there. I only follow the gooners when winding spurs fans up. Has for stand up comedians it would have to be the late, great Bill Hicks.
Ok AJ I was only kidding. My old man was a West Ham fan but I opted for another crap team instead. I understand where your coming from because being an AFC Telford fan wont wind up many people. We won 6:1 last night how great was that? Jose Morinho has declared he wants to go back to Portugal never to be seen again. The McCanns have offered there services...
Sep 21, 2007
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#80
Ha ha i heard that today ,and this one:
A bloke goes on stars in your eyes, Matthew says to him " it's a pleasure your here under the circumstances, cuz you really shouldn't be. Tell us your story". " well " he says. " I was in a car accident with my uncle who sadly was killed, well anyway, i lost my legs. But luckily, thanks to modern surgery, they managed to attach my uncles legs to my body ". Matthew says " thats amazing, please tell the audience who you're going to be tonight ?" The bloke says " Well Matthew, i'm going to be Simon and half uncle !"
Okay the Office is simply not funny. Not the American one and not the British one. Dilbert the animated cartoon was much better. All the other Brit comedies were spot on though.
But you can only watch so many Btitish comedies, Japanese animations, American dramas and Latin American Telenovelas before its time to play chess.
When does Betty la Fea: The Animated Series come out?