And we've found an early contender for Craziest Thread of the Weekend. Well done sir! 
Chess Surface Speed Discussion Thread
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Nov 28, 2015
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#3
To answer the OP in a serious tone, yes, marbles are round. The speed of light over the acceleration due to gravity (9.8 m/sec/sec) could cause pumpkin pie to be dry. Towels won't dry properly, though, if soap gets on them, and squirrels stash more nuts in the fall before a winter that will be colder and with more snow. So, in summation, check your spare tire's air pressure. Everyone forgets to do that, and when you need the spare, it could be quite flat.
Now that Magnus Carlsen and Sergey Karjakin have just drawn for an unprecedented 7th time, is it time for FIDE to review the speed of chess surfaces? We have seen that Karjakin is able to push his way to within reach of the World Championship crowd. Magnus favours aggressive shotmaking yet the slow surface allows Karjakin to cover the entire chessboard and chase down any shot. This allows the Russian to lob the piece back into play and force Carlsen to construct an aggressive point once again. We have seen that Karjakin is happy to just push his way through a match without going for any aggressive shots and without taking risk. Is this form of defensive play damaging the state of chess? Will a re-evaluation of chess surface speed bring the game back to its fast 90s roots?
SwissGoat wrote:
Now that Magnus Carlsen and Sergey Karjakin have just drawn for an unprecedented 7th time, is it time for FIDE to review the speed of chess surfaces? We have seen that Karjakin is able to push his way to within reach of the World Championship crowd. Magnus favours aggressive shotmaking yet the slow surface allows Karjakin to cover the entire chessboard and chase down any shot. This allows the Russian to lob the piece back into play and force Carlsen to construct an aggressive point once again. We have seen that Karjakin is happy to just push his way through a match without going for any aggressive shots and without taking risk. Is this form of defensive play damaging the state of chess? Will a re-evaluation of chess surface speed bring the game back to its fast 90s roots?
7 draws in a row isnt "unprecedented", its not even a record for most draws in a row.
In 2002, the FIDE introduced Chess pieces which were 6% larger. This was done to ensure Chess matches had more moves and were more entertaining to watch for spectators. This sparked a movement towards slower Chess matches and allowed baseline dominant defensive players to defeat talented aggressive shotmakers.
It killed the art of aggressive play and favoured defensive play. Since then we have seen the speed of Chess matches drastically decrease. The larger chess pieces move slower through the air and the new rough nature of Chess board surfaces increase friction and slow down matches.
Should the FIDE introduce faster surfaces for Chess games? Chess matches should be held indoors and on surfaces such as grass and carpet.