I dont understand how this CM IM FM GM thing works but your rated just over 2000. That doesnt seem that impressive Im rated over 1400 and climbing. Ill be a 1600 in another month and I have beaten 2000+ rated players on other sites. you do not scare me little man, and im coming for you.
I lolled at this comment, good luck mate. It is funny how disillusioned you are.
Excellent troll thread that describes some "coaches" pretty well.
I think you should also write a book with "master analysis" where every game is analysed by an engine. That would be new and never seen before. Oh wait.
I ve beaten the highest rated players I have played thus far so i dont get why thats so funny I know what my actual rating is and what I am capable of doing and playing and yes I am fully capable of beating a 2000 rated player >.< (O)(O) titties.
if that, but I could and have, regardless he might get in trouble playing me.
I want to play the CM thunder penguin who refuses his coaching services.
In my opinion coaches are not useful. Once I beat my coach.
yeah, I have beat my coach 4 times, but we have played 34 times, I was white in all the games, and I choose which defenses he had to play (and those were just blitz games...) 
what aboout the conversation?
Davi_, what do you charge for letting someone else qualify for the Barbers? Maybe give D.B. a shot this time?
This sounds like a get-rich-quick scheme. I have a deal. I will not kill a penguin for the rest of my life in order for 49.9999% of the profit generated in this business, plus $50 upfront?
I'm considering number 2: The shake my hand option. I've been saving for four months actually.
Quick question. What is the exact duration of the shake?
I mean could we shake hands for a couple of hours while we play chess with our other hands? Or is it a double hand-shake, and if so, would I need to pay extra?
Thanks.
Plus, if you say "Hello" during the handshake, is it free, $100, $250, or not allowed?
I was joking but I have a suspicion I eat guini pigs may actually eat guinea pigs. watch out penguin!
my only regret...
I-eat-guinea-pigs was to long to be a chess.com username...