I want God to help me!
P.S: he doesn't like me!
Divine Intervention
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using god is cheating !
xD
i love this threat :P
Chess is like life. Working together, making sacrifices and advancing a lowly pawn to the top is good for everyone.
normajeanyates wrote:
Beast719 I congratulate you: Dawkins would love this :) Unfortunately most of the audience is from the USA and most of *them* will not get the joke - too subtle. Wasted on the wrong audience...
Days were when there were USA-ans like Ambrose Bierce...
"PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy." - Ambrose Bierce
Too bad Bush is no longer in office, I doubt we can count on Obama to drop a nuke on the snobby arrogant pricks in England. Was that too subtle? :)
What's going on here? I don't understand irony, and I sure as hell can't pick up on subtleties. Damn...
Actually, the original post was about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the back of the ol' bean. P'raps it's the limeys who have trouble with subtlety.
jpd303 wrote:
did anyone question if the original person who posted this topic has taken their psych meds. recently? I have a degree in psychology and have worked in mental institutions of 4 years now and that sounds like a psychotic break to me...you might consider getting a psychiatrist! i know a guy who ate some mushrooms once and god spoke to him through HIS DOG! apparently the god/dog told him that he couldnt get anymore devils tattooed on his body and that the war between heaven and hell was/is real, fish are fish, and that Iron Maiden totally rules! now i agree that Maiden rocks, and i might even agree that heaven and hell are at war for our souls...but god giving you bad chess advice, im not sure i can swallow that one...and furthermore if youre feeling guilty about listening to gods advice you REALLY should see a shrink! Seriously go see a therapist...
I already went to see the rapist. He's confined in the stocks in Llantrissant market square. I threw some rotten tomatoes at him but he didn't offer any sensible advice about middle game pawn structure. I did learn some good new knots though.
God said to abraham, kill me a son, Abe said God you must be puttin me on, God said no, Abe said what? God said hey you can do whatever you want, but the next time you see me comin' you'd better run.......Abe said where you want this killin' done.... God said right out on highway 61...Robert Zimmerman said that.
RainbowRising wrote:
sarkinaiki wrote:
TrainingForNM wrote:
RainbowRising wrote:
Christians play only with the knights,
Muslims cant have queens - they are covered in sheets and cant see where they are going.
Buddists offer a draw each game. Failing that, they lose on time and don't make a single move.
Jews never sacrifice anything, even if it will win them the game.
Athiests play without bishops
Agnostics play blindfolded.
Darwin never promotes to a pawn to a knight, even if its checkmate. He believes in evolution going fowards, not backwards.
Now Rainbow - don't take Darwin's name in vain. I'm sure there is a Buddist hell reserved for people who misunderstand natural selection.
Or is it a class thing? Do you think what queens are inherently superior to knights?
Rookbuster wrote:
PhilipN wrote:
How do you know that it was God who was prompting your moves? My rating is over 1500 (again), and to the best of my knowledge God has never prompted me to make any particular moves. I am also a Christian and I have done quite a bit of evangelism (I don't know what you mean by "certified" but I believe that all Christians are certified so to speak by the words of the Great Commission), and I don't see that God would lead you to make good or bad moves. However, I do know of a professional surfer who felt led by God at one surfing competition, and who got all the best waves, won the contest, and walked away with a sponsorship, then felt guilty like you described (I don't know this guy personally, but I read about him in a magazine).
p.s. has anyone ever tried to play the Ruy Lopez against you? Because Bobby Fischer claimed that even God couldn't beat him when he played that opening!
So it's settled! God prefers intervention in surfing ONLY!
OK, I'm officially referencing this thread the next time someone tries to get me to stop drinking.
TheGrobe wrote:
OK, I'm officially referencing this thread the next time someone tries to get me to stop drinking.
Sounds like divine intervention is required for you to stop drinking. Does your beer bottle tell you to pop the cap? Does the beer can ask you to crush it on your forehead? These should be tell tale signs of whether god wants you to stop drinking or you have drank too much already mixed with something extra! lol
is technically cheating of course ! ! !
Booooo Hooooo!!
Why cant I hear God giving me chess advice !!
My lord, why have you forsaken me??????
(Keep it going guys :P)
this thread should be locked! it has HUGE references to religious topics!
but otherwise this is my fav thread lol :P
Johnson123 wrote:
this thread should be locked! it has HUGE references to religious topics!
but otherwise this is my fav thread lol :P
Nothing religious with God playing chess!
What do you want Him to do with all that spare time? 
TonicoTinoco wrote:
Johnson123 wrote:
this thread should be locked! it has HUGE references to religious topics!
but otherwise this is my fav thread lol :P
Nothing religious with God playing chess!
What do you want Him to do with all that spare time?
from now on god is called GM God
EDIT: didnt we agree he has alot of time to play chess?
I like american humour.
Great.
will someone please tell me why people are so off track? God has an overlying plan for the world. I believe the person who claims that God started telling him chess moves needs to see if its really God. You don't need to lose faith over a silly thing like bad chess moves(P.s. God created the world, He could beat Deep Fritz at chess.)
I think this guy is tongue-in-cheek.
I wonder if God prefers Bishops over Knights?
I think there's a variation of chess called Atheist Chess with no Bishops. Might be fun to try. 
Taoists: They constantly move their pieces randomly; with no real end in sight. Their motto: "Win by not doing."
Christians: Charge ahead madly with their Knights, trying to cut the pawns to pieces. Failing this, they begin to burn captured enemy pieces tied to toothpicks as "heretics."
Jews: Play for material. Take the concept of overprotection WAY out of proportion!
Muslims: Insist that their King "must" have at least four Queens every game, and that the pawns should be capable of blowing themselves up.
And last, but not least:
New Age People: Move the pieces using their mind and the power of "crystals."
We should also send Rybka and Deep Fritz a copy each of God. No favours...