Don't be THAT guy at the chess tournament

Don't be the guy who tries to make an illegal move to avoid my draw by perpetual check. (Actualy happened.)

Is than an isult? Get in line, lol.

My first week her i got cursed out move 1 several times. Players saying how they going to take me down hard. How superior they were in a game.

Later a month ago still getting insults by some new players say things from they are training to become a grandmaster to play of words on my username. They even called my opening and said i do not know how to use it. Called me idiot saying why i pick that opening and it will not work on them.

At the end i let my game do the talking I won and all i heard was silence.Moved on next game.

Hehehe hey can you say that in another language. I want to add that to the list also.

I don't think soft liquorice makes that noise. what should I eat instead ..sitting 4 hours without any thing to eat??

im training to be an grandmaster! want to play me?

When it is mate in 5 join them in the room.

In case you lose. Don't be that guys Pizza for everybody after you lose a game including this opponent.

nobody wants to ply chess? just talk?

Change that to a bucket of Fried Chicken..... KFC. That smell  really gets around. You will me smiling if your losing. In which case your opponent can not focus and think you have a counter move for his attack.

Oh the smacking that will go and others will want some. Give everybody some but your opponent. lol Suffer.

. . .and if you loose. . .do not show a sad face, as if asking for sorrow!. . .head up!, you are a warrior . . .not a convict heading for the gibbet. . .

Ok time to man up .....

taking this one to the next level.

Now you need 2 things for this to work you figure your way to bring them.

Now sit down calmly shake hands a smile. Wait 3 minutes into the game.

Pull out your 1st item ..... a live roach and throw it on the board. Chase it knocking over all the pieces and clock. Now for the 2item 

  Yes the one and only.

Spray the board ,pieces and etc on your conquest to remove one stinking roach.

Have you ever seen a guy with a bucket of KFC sad......

..... that is why they have been in business for years.

Unlike those that have a large bowl of ice cream with the works.

Don't be THAT guy ....has changed the rules.

We control the Horizontal and the Vertical.

Ok a person outside the tournament that smoking some Herb and but some and plant it under the table and spill some under the chair. Go to the bathroom move 2 (cops are a bit slow) Call the Men in Blue and report it. When they get to area knock over the clock..... get up and ask what is going on as they will already be searching the area. Knock the clock over again as your opponent will have put it upright. The rest is up to you from this point ....be creative.

Don't be THAT guy ....has changed the rules.

We control the Horizontal and the Vertical.

Ok a person outside the tournament that smoking some Herb and but some and plant it under the table and spill some under the chair. Go to the bathroom move 2 (cops are a bit slow) Call the Men in Blue and report it. When they get to area knock over the clock..... get up and ask what is going on as they will already be searching the area. Knock the clock over again as your opponent will have put it upright. The rest is up to you from this point ....be creative.

About THAT guy stuff... So a girl can do all that? ;)

Hmmm yeah why not   but it will be way easier.

Don't be that guy (like me ) who uses his pencil to move the pieces around to help him think of the possibilities when his opponent has left the board. Hey! I technically didn't touch them! :D

Don't play chess like a pigeon. This means don't peck over your opponents pawns, crap on the chessboard, and then go flying off to tell the rest of your flock how you won the game.

This reminds me i had a Lawyer for an English Instructor. He did not reveal this little secret until it was too late to get out of his class.

I could prove the touch thing but might take 2-3 pages or even 10. You win! I am not touching this one. lol.

it seems the top GMs like rule 7 knocking pieces over, Kramnik does it a lot in blitz games.

Heres one to add to the list

OTB pre-moving!

Well this one ....

Have to get early to tournament and need a little water. And some info.The first thing you need to know is where is your game going to be played and which side of the table you will be playing on.

When you have that piece of info you need to take out the glue you had .... no not Krazy Glue not for this one. It will not do the trick. Not Elmer either. Monkey Glue that one, might have to go to a harware store and do not need much. Now for it to work the surface has to be wet that is why you want to brink some water. Now apply some water to the bottom of your opponents King and maybe another piece then apply just a little Monkey Glue. The best part as this takes a while dry and bond. So your oppponent will not a clue how you when you did it and maybe later they figure the how part.

When you apply it is not that visible so do the same to the seat. Now remember just a little like 3-4 drops here and there and make sure overall it is not larger than a dime. This will dry quicker as he is sitting on with his weight. Can you say stuck with no options as Monkey Glue is way stronger than Krazy Glue

Aaah looks like they changed the name to .... here is the pic of it everything else is the name they just change the name a little.

Gorilla Glue

Used the text Monkey Glue and i still got it?

I do not know how to hypnotize anybody put it might be worth looking into.

" Let me mate you with my Queen and Bishop as you are tired and sleepy"