Don't Play Tilted

Everyone gets angry, but I don't think anyone gets quite as angry as me. I'm talking white-hot, want-to-scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs, inconsolable rage that lingers and carves a cavity into your very soul. I honestly don't know what's wrong with me or why I value my elo THAT much, but it absolutely isn't healthy and I don't know why I put myself through it. So you lose a few games, then you're down 16 points, and you're pretty pissed off, but you say to yourself, "Hey, I'll just play until I'm back up to my regular score" and before you know it you're down 90 points of elo, smashing your fist into your face, and flailing around in your chair like a zombie having a seizure. Your elo goes up and down like a rollercoaster, but you lose more than you win and by the end of it it's been 5 hours of desperately trying to get your elo back up, and you feel like you're actually worse at chess. The truth is, you are, because you're in the completely wrong headspace to play. I think the reason I get this way is because I have pathologized my ELO. Like it represents how smart I am. And when you're mad, you play worse, and when you play worse you get madder. It's a vicious cycle. I'm hoping I can get back up to the 1300s.

Ok

I regularly dip back into the 1800s playing with a glass of wine in hand onlynto then enjoy getting back to the 2000s only to play again with drinks...it happens.