hi, my first advice is, that you play turn-based-chess. this way you don't have to worry, what your partner thinks about thinking too long. you can think as long as you want (mostly up to 3 days).
I think if you play more, you get used to it, and with your rating and knowledge your confidence will problably get stronger.
I kinda know this feeling. It took me also some time till I found the heart to play my first chess game. I also thought everyone would think i'm a loser. but this feeling disappeared the more games I played. Now it's totally normal and I don't care what others might think. for the beginning try not to think about the person behind the monitor. Just play the game, maybe imagine that it's not different from a game of computer chess.
When your skills grow you will also get the confidence to play OTB.
And for getting better... you could play unrated games with people here who can teach you a bit. there are members who are doing this if you ask. I would also, but I feel I'm not good enough to try to teach anyone :)
well, enjoy the game
Hi, maybe it's a personal issue but it's really been bothering me.
I'm a beginner so I play kind of bad. I've been reading about chess and doing tactics on chesstempo, then playing mostly against computer and decided playing more 30 min or more games here having read it's better to learn than bullet or blitz (which I played because a really helpful player here showed me my mistakes in blitz, so I thought it was a better idea but I don't have the time to think and later read it was better for beginner to do longer games anyway.)
However I find the club really stressing. I feel like an intruder. Sometimes I would like to talk about chess with my opponent so I could learn, ask questions, but it's just too stressing. I feel like it's bothering them that I want to play against them since I lose anyway.
I really enjoy playing against the computer and somehow replaying others' games and stopping to think about which moves would be better, then sometimes I end up finishing the game by myself... but even playing against persons online is stressing. I wonder what they'll think if I take too much time to think, if they'll be bothered. It's really stupid.
My first day at the club, people were really friendly, but it's not always the same people and I don't think they really want to play with me. They have courses for players from 13 to 18 in the year (not during the summer) but by november I'll be 18 and maybe I'll be too old and it'll be weird. Now you're probably mocking me... but it's really too stressing. Mostly I just can't really talk to people to ask what mistakes I'm doing, etc. which is why I wanted to join the club, as that player told me to do.
Then I've read on the forums some people regretted not playing as kids because they'd have been better, I do regret but not because I'd have been a better player. I regret first because I wanted, and second because I didn't have a lot of friends then (duh!) so maybe I could have bonded and now I'd know how to act. I'm shy usually, but it's the only time that I'm scared people may dislike me, because in other settings it's just easier? ie, I go to FOSS conferences and can talk to others easily, but they come talk to me first mostly or I do but it's not stressing at all in such a setting, mostly I'm just a little shy but nothing comparable to when I'm at the chess club.
I just need to know people won't dislike me if I'm a bad player or mock me or be aggressive... I just hate when people "notice" I'm here. I know I sound ridiculous, but I just feel like a fish out of water there.