How to find a reason to continue during periods of no improvement

You have a skewed view. If you only enjoy the wins and the losses effect you so much. Chess is as much about the losses as the wins. Every loss is a lesson. Look at athletic psychology. Many athletes focus on their personal best (PB) not the losses. It's about overall improvement over the longer term (months and years) not game-by-game wins and losses. Perhaps you are investing too much in chess so the losses are hard. Consider investing less term while you learn to reframe losses. I analyse my losses myself without the engine. Hanging Pawns has some good videos on methods for doing this. I enjoy exploring alternative candidates and spotting different ideas. This means psychologically I'm positive about a losing game. Another idea is track the percentage accuracy of play in your losses or the mistakes or blunders, if these are going down then you are improving though losing.

our education system always rewards success and punish failures. thats why you feel that way. but brain is designed to learn from mistakes.. so you need to be encouraged to try and make mistakes in order to learn effectively. if your feelings are so tough and overwhelming then you should leave some gaps between your plays to ease your pain.. as there is no real reason to break things in your appartment and feel problematic. or maybe you should stop playing chess and save your money and time for better and more productive interests which makes you happier.

BTW on your last paragraph, I'm 43. I went through a fairly standard uk education of school, university, and then work. I enjoy learning and education and had similar feelings when I started work. in my early twenties. The world of work can be quite tedious and boring for a bright, well educated twenty something. I think partly because the transition from education to the workplace is often not as they imagined and there is still so much to learn about 'doing'. After 3 years I quit my job, took a 50% pay cut, returned to university and studied a PhD. Best decision I ever made. I've been back in industry many years but much more content.

Play daily chess instead of the blitz and rapid nonsense. You improve your play in fast time controls by improving your play in slow time controls. 

Context is important. I've been working on my tactics training a lot but my rating has hardly budged in 6 months. However, my blunders and mistakes are better and my accuracy scores are better. What has happened is the average rating of my opponent has increased (it's in the stats) so in the past my rating has been helped by wins against weaker opponents. This means I'm improving though it's not reflected in my rating. Rating alone wont give you the whole story. I think I'm due a rise if I can get some basic bad habits under control.

30 minute games still are not really enough. I realize that on the internet, 30 minutes per side is considered really long. But in over-the-board chess, G/30 is considered to be a very very fast time control. The professionals like Magnus Carlsen play games over-the-board that are hours upon hours long. Just start playing one or two daily games at 3 days a move or whatever (in addition to your rapid games if you want), and see how you handle it. Unlike live chess, opening books and game databases are allowed for daily chess.

You are also allowed to use an analysis board, on which you can move the pieces. It greatly helps for calculating variations. Sometimes you might be stumped and think about the position on the board for 30 minutes or even an hour, just for one move. This may happen when you do not know what the best plan is or when there are so many possible variations that you need to do in-depth calculation to see if they work. 

Take a look at this game I played recently. I had to spend a long time to calculate out like 5 different lines in order to make sure my attacking plan with 19.Nf4 would work. It turns out from the computer analysis that I actually made mistakes in my calculations, but nevertheless my plan of attack worked for this particular opponent. You might want to study this game and calculate out some lines yourself as an exercise. https://www.chess.com/analysis/game/daily/277296860

I highly recommend that you buy and ready this book. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/10082852-a-guide-to-chess-improvement

I agree with @ChessGuy. I also mainly play Daily, though I've weaned myself off the analysis board, which means I'm more likely to make calculation and visualisation errors, but thought my OTB game might benefit from the practice. However, one thing I learned from the board was the importance of exploring candidates and not getting locked in to one idea. I saved a few games by keeping an open mind about the best move until I'd explored a few different lines. Daily chess gives you plenty of time to develop good technique that you can then transfer into faster games. But the first step is to develop the right technique and habits.

One thing that might help is to spend a little less time on playing, and a little more on just studying the history of the game. Study the games of great players from the past, so you can pick a favorite. Then study his or her games and enjoy them for their artistic beauty. Chess, in my opinion, is something to be enjoyed, not something to become stressed out over. Life is too short for that.

I have been playing for a very long time, and my rating is not very high. At my age it is never going to be high. But the other day I was watching a video of some insane moves played by Tal, my favorite player. They made me laugh out loud. 

I am never going to be able to play like Tal, but I can enjoy the game through him and other players I admire.

any one on this earth please gift me membership

no

Kirsan Ilyumzhinov: It was from my apartment. They flew in and picked me up. They were wearing yellow spacesuits. I remember this moment exactly. We went off to their interplanetary ship, and I started to feel a lack of air, a lack of oxygen. They gave me a spacesuit as well. I did not have time to think that there wasn’t enough air, when one of my companions – I don’t know what to call him – one of the aliens – pointed to his chest and indicated that the oxygen supply could be regulated by turning a dial. So this is what I did. And the most interesting thing was that they appeared not to pay any attention to me. I did not understand their purpose in picking me up. That is, they did not take me on their interplanetary ship for any special purpose – they just showed it to me. The ship was absolutely enormous. One of its chambers was the size of a large football pitch. There was lighting. We landed on one of the planets and picked up some piece of equipment. And they told me everything in detail, the ones who transported me explained things, either the captain of the ship or someone else. I remember that I asked them to take me back to Earth as quickly as possible. Why? Because in two days I had to conduct Youth Government Week, and I repeated this request several times. And then they brought me back, and everything was normal again.

https://www.chesshistory.com/winter/extra/ilyumzhinov.html

@Njosnari No one stops improving when checking what they did wrong, put some work to stop doing it, and make things right the next time. That idea of checking books, videos, or whatever and that by itself will fix what you're doing wrong is not true.

Say I play an opening line which I think gives me a good game. I win some games and my "theory" seems to be right. Then I play a grandmaster and crushes me. I have to analyze that game and check if I lost because of tactical oversights or if my whole theory was wrong. If my concept has been proven wrong, then I should stop playing that opening line and work on something better.

Don't think that this method works for me and not for everyone else. Everybody, even the weakest player, has theories on what's good or bad in a game, but not all those theories are correct. 

To give you a mental framework, chess is about calculation and evaluation. When there are threats and restrictions, you calculate. When you can't reach a conclusion from calculations, then you evaluate. The same as calculations are based on activity, evaluations are based on concepts, on theories about the medium and long-term activity (some can be general, some only valid for that particular game). Then, you work on assessing if your calculations and evaluations are solid. When not, you fix them. And that is how you will improve.

Nicator65 is giving very good advice. At your level you are making many mistakes and very probably you repeat some of these mistakes.  You need to spend time learning what mistakes you are making and then to try not to repeat the same mistakes.

@njosnari regarding openings, if you go onto the beginners forum there is a post titled Adult Improvement in Chess from Lucas-Cro (I think that was his name). It has a link to his youtube account where there are 3 videos on opening principles. He illustrates well why below 2000 rating dont worry too much about opening theory as if you play good opening principles then most games are roughly equal at the start of the middlegame and are generally lost by positional or tactical mistakes after that. So I think you are correct to look at openings to understand ideas in them so that you can improve, generally, your opening play. But IMO dont bother to memorise lots of specific lines etc. The time is better spent training tactics and understanding positional ideas and themes and analysing your losses.

Every time you lose a game, analyze the game to its core. Check all the patterns you missed. Then, repeat those patterns many times to sink into your memories. Remember the mistakes you made. Remember the best alternative solutions. 

Practice and improve blindfold chess. Try to get a better grip of the board image in your mind. 

Learn prophylaxis. Master it. Focus more on your opponents plans. And make prophylactic moves. Watch Karpov's games to understand how well he implements prophylaxis in his games. It's VERY important. 

Counter attack. You don't always have to recapture or go on the defensives when your opponent is on full aggression. Look for counter attacks. 

Know when to retreat. If you are on the attack, always make sure your defense is going to be okay. If you are not 100% sure your attack will work out, retreat back to defense. 

Always have over protection. Always make sure your pieces are protected. Not only protected by one piece, but also try to defend it more than once. Overprotection is very important. 

Study pawn structures and pawn breaks.                                   

It is not that expensive, you can buy diamond for one month

You are not able to visualize future moves in chess, or you are unable to visualize any images in your head at all?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mental_image

If you have aphantasia, you can still improve, but it will be much harder for you. The analysis board in daily chess might help, because you can move pieces on it to assist in the calculations. Still, you have to be able to remember the variations.

https://www.reddit.com/r/chess/comments/7xt0to/is_it_possible_to_become_good_at_chess_if_you/

https://www.quora.com//Would-an-aphantasic-person-ever-be-able-to-play-chess-well/answer/H%C3%A5kon-Hapnes-Strand/log

On the other hand, if you do not have aphantasia, but rather just have visualization trouble at the chessboard, you will improve your visualization with natural chess practice. Alternatively, I am sure there are exercises specifically to help with visualization. For example, let's say you are playing the white pieces and are looking at the standard starting position of the game. Can you remember whether the a1 square is a light square or a dark square?

https://www.thechessdrum.net/chessacademy/CA_VisionTest1.html