Halp Halp! A heffalump... well seriously now my chess pieces all have autism

it feels like they are not relating well to each other in all of my games they are trying to hide in the corner from the middle of the room

I don't know what to do......am always in the dark.

It's time I really learned an opening or something isn't it? that would be the problem eh.

do they call you a buchaneer

HURRY UP AND LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOZ

sorry just thought i would add to this thread, i must drive my followers nuts the amount of crap I write, so I am subversively adding to this stupid thread.

HURRA THE HELLZ UP AND LOOOOOOOOOHse

Don't you ever find yourself thinking this xD

Because,  you're like winning and stuff, and you are greedy for their blood points.

Isn't this purple thing a heffalump? (This heffalump happens to be named "Lumpy" by the way. Lumpy's friend in the picture is named "Roo" [whose mother is "Kanga" as in Kanga-roo]). 

lol - funny I know this. Ah yes, my knowledge of cartoons and anime is vast ... 

Oh yeah, and @CoffeeAnd420 has a good response if you want a serious answer

I’m still a beginner however I’m learning how to ‘control the centre.’ E4 or d4 are good openings and then your other pieces will just follow. 

What a horrible man you are. Bah BYE.

Thanks for the silly people on this site, when I'm losing my mind, which seems to happen a lot lately, this place indubitably cheers me up. Plus I always used to play more online games in the winter, but then I found THE ONE xD

(And I am getting better, you moron, you're not even as good as 95% of the people at my chess club.

I have beaten people higher rated than you, so I hope you've been playing a lot longer than 9 months like I have.

So have fun in your trolly ways somewhere else you AIN't coming in my threads no more, they are for nice, logical and SILLY people.)

I said SILLY PEOPLE

(ؔ❝ ˙̼̮ ؔ❝⁎)     @̴̨̊̋̐̃̀̽̽@̴̨̊     )⁕௹ۻ௹)⁎✧

,,/(òÓ,),,/     ઈ(@̴̨̊̋̐̃̀̽̽ͅ❦@̴̨̊̋̐̃̀̽̽ͅ)ૐ

*breathes out moron*

Hehehe @Kesoto - I will excuse your Disney Pooh because you didn't really quote any of the stuff that A.A.Milne didn't write : D 

He would no doubt have been fun to play, in a lovely study with leather chairs : )

Nice, yeh I suddenly kind of, about in the last week or two, started understanding why the pieces go where they go in the openings.

Like I said at post 4, I started this silly thread nearly 2 weeks ago and only added to it so I wouldn't bother my followers more than I am sure I already do hahaha

There is a guy here called @TooManyBlunders who has just started posting, he is at my chess club and has great advice for learners. He analyses my games nice and harshly and that has really made a difference, face to face / conversational learning works best for whatever learning issues I have.

And I got some books from the chess club for 5$ each, really great ones like Silmans Reassess your chess even though it's only the 3rd edition, but yeah some things have just started slipping into place better, and I don't have that awful feeling like OMG STRESS what am I supposed to DO. Well not as much as before.

okay.

Playing with higher level players helps sometimes because they can give some really great advice. If you’re looking for books you might want to look on book depository.com too; they have free shipping worldwide and just about every book known to mankind. It’s like book heaven!!! 

Wow! Fantastic, being in NZ the shipping often kills xD

I know, here too. That’s why I like to share it with everyone. I haven’t personally bought from there as of yet but I look forward to doing so. It will be hard to choose what to buy though; so much to choose from at such bargain prices! 

True. I happened to be browsing the chess.com articles earlier and the last one I think is about great books in chess, which of course has sparked lots of debate if you want ideas : )

Anyway contributors thanks for letting me mix serious and silly, I've been playing way too much today but was good I seem to be blundering a lot less in 5 minutes. So that feels nice. Am not sure if I'll ever be able to think 5 or so moves ahead, but I don't really care too much about that. I mean it would be nice, and if anything can help my memory it would be this game. But am happy just enjoying it and being in some awe of it.

I think I'm getting a bit snappy when I've been ODing on my favourite type of facebook (chess.com) so am going for a walk. Get away from the Blue Light.

Thanks to all the Christopher Robins in the chess world : )

doesn't kenny ever get old?

the heffalump plush toy was the first one my younger kid actually wanted me to buy.   she would normally play with toys at the store and return them and she didn't want to bring them home.  of course more than 10 years later, things have changed - now she wants everything she sees ...

yikes xD my daughter is unicorn MAD, and she plays chess, each time she does well in the poetry or something it's like, " do you think you'll buy another unicorn today?" she's like nah, - probably not.

then we end up coming home with the biggest pegacorn based toy the shop has

  -=t`", /`-.___.
   (_/, `-._.r="
     /|/`--,`}
     \I'  ,//  

she actually had so many unicorns on her bed I thought it might be dangerous.

but i picked up The World of Pooh that I had as a kid so have been reading 
that to them, and they are slowly picking up on that really subtle, adult,
yet benign humour of A.A.Milne. It's kind of a language of love, really, 
isn't it?

Here, a lump usually means s/o hanging out doing nothing. and when s/o calls a girl-woman a heffer it means theyre big like a cow. so when i saw the title heffalump it made me giggle.

this may be Buffalo Heffer in the movie Lonesome Dove. or Peach. cant recall now.

Kenny made my peepers swim.