Here's Why I'm a PATZER

I'm a patzer. Okay, a semi-patzer. One or the other, the feeling I'm experiencing when going over Tal's games, or watching Maggi, is just the same.

Here is a couple of aphorisms from my Uncle-in-law, Candidate Master Savo Martinovic, a satirist and aphorist from Montenegro.

Aphorism is "a dribble of wit in a narrow space," would tell us another aphorist, Aleksandar Baljak of Serbia, (which is an aphorism on the definition of aphorism!).

It is a short, sharp, linguistically effective sentence or two (that's why often times cannot be translated to another language), which contains an unexpected twist, describing in a most striking way the hidden truth of some common social matter, or a state of mind.

Or how good or bad I am in chess, what Savo Martinovic is explaining in an entire series of aphorisms on patzers. Being a semi-patzer myself, I love them!

Hope you'll love them too.

Cartoon art by Jovan Prokopljevic

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― Patzer is thinking for the longest time after he has got checkmated.

― After he has just made a good move, the first thought of a patzer is how to take it back.

― The patzer is the first to see a check, but is the last to learn he has actually checkmated his opponent.

― It's hard for a patzer to take calmly the checkmate delivered to the opponent, as he is now unable to check him any more.

― After a double check the patzer may go and die peacefully.

― As long as a patzer makes his moves fast, everything is still in order. The moment he starts thinking, everything goes to ruins.

― Only two patzers can come up with a position where both are lost.

― The patzer simply can't resist a bad move.

― The patzer makes the worst moves unmistakably.

Yes, Umesh, many ideas popping up. Can you imagine, none from engines

And Many of them wouldn’t get a pass from chesscom filters😆 so put it on a lighter note

Thanks for commenting

Your Daily rating is very decent for a patzer, Momir.

I think what metal heads dummies do is actually shallow, only fast for them.

Only ideas can be deep, big, grand, brilliant, imaginative and creative😎

Yes, and that is 1000 lower than Maggi’s.

Do you know what it means and what he would think of my decent number🤣🤣

Brings up  a whole new question: what is a patzer? At what rating can you no longer be called a patzer?

Seems like a sensible answer!

I agree.

Perhaps we should introduce various levels, sort of patzer titles, like semi-patzer, quart-patzer, or simply, following the current logic,

patzer level F, ..., B, A, then expert patzer, national master patzer and so on🤣🤣🤣

And thanks for commenting

Very well put!👏👍

The OP image reminded me of an article I recently saw in the British Chess Magazine:

Quite a long read but worth the effort

Thanks Novacek (this sounds Czech to me, ‘nov’ meaning ‘new’ in Slavic langs)😀

Will go over aft wrk. Any digital version online. Or just for registered members?

I think it's just for subscribers.

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Tks Novacek

Oh, forgot to say that you were right about Novacek being Czech. Means 'novice'.

Yes, my gut feeling didn’t lead me wrong.

Contrary to my chess🤣🤣

Btw, my son is Novak, ‘ce’ lost somewhere along the road.

Or perhaps the Czechs added it down the road traveling from their ancient lands in the Balkans according to Dalimil’s chronicle from 14 c. which alleged that “all Slavs originated in the South,”

That is also Šafárik’s view...

I'm totally lost! You come across as such a clever guy. Always interested by what you have to say!

Yo mate!! Am home and smiling at this stuff. Us ex-patzers, candidate patzers and wanabe patzers of the world salute you and your uncle - both cleverer than me(!) Thanks for some  more original material. Alaways a good day when you post something! Cheers mate! 

A Quick P.S. to middlegamer - hope you were watching yesterday and are duly humbled!! Jason Roy is back!!! Time to crank it up!

Joking and banter aside, I am with you 1000%

The only patzer aphorism I know:

"Patzer sees a check, patzer gives a check."