How chess saved me from ducks.

Well here is the story of how chess saved me:

Some years ago I used to own a duck farm. It gave me a respectable income and let me achieve a comfortable social position.

I had always liked animals, but the duck farm didn't live up to may expectations. Ducks are usually very impolite and show no respect to us humans. They tend to think they are in some kind of expensive and luxurious hotel and seem surprised when death arrives. They used to look at me seething with anger.

I started to feel nervous whenever a duck gave me a glance. At first I thought I would be able to manage with that, but things started to get worse. Those ducks were getting into mind, starting to show up in my dream, making them into nightmares. I just couldn't stand such psychological pressure.

I was dubious about what to do with the farm. I didn't want to suffer more, but I had to earn a living somehow.

Then I started playing chess.

Within a month I learned how to think and even how to come up with a strategy for the first time in my life and a week later ,thanks to chess,I figured out how to apply tactics to my strategy, this allowed me to realize that I didn't need the farm, and that there were better ways to get money. I sold a farm to the first animal abuser I saw and started my new life.

Yes. I had found an easy way to get money.

And it's called borrowing.

Of course giving back what was borrowed just didn't seem right to me, so I started to keep what people lent me. Some people didn't really want to lend me things at first, but after exposing my arguments (some people call them weapons, maybe because I'm so good at making people do what I want) they were convinced.

Later, I started applying chess tactics and strategies to real life. A group of blue Oompa-Loompas didn't really like my way of borrowing, but I managed to pull off a distraction to escape from where they were trying to keep me. On other ocasions forks saved my life, for some reasons, blue Oompa-Loompas don't want innocents to be harmed in the process.

That just lead me to think that chess is truly like life.

Thank you chess for saving me from ducks and showing me a new way to live.

If you have accepted chess as your personal saviour please share here.

Thanks for reminding me that chess also saved me from drink.

But that's a story I won't tell today...

                            THOUGHT YOU WERE GETTING MARRIED ?                                                 

I don't think it's booze kaynight, dude's seeing oompa loompas man. Sounds like lsd to me. Possibly shrooms.... or dude's just nuts.

you need sound effects like in the American sitcoms, where they have recorded laughs to let the audience know that part was supposed to be funny.

Cool story.

Currently working on that.

Here you can see that ducks keep on with their evil activities. Now they are forcing people to play chess with the white square on the left instead of on the right.

I feel sorry for those ducks, who have emotions, too. Maybe you should make a bumper sticker: "Save a duck. Play chess."

But you know, you can never guess what's going on in the mind of those ducks.

Ducks are a menace

Face it.

Ducks and ISIS are the same thing

What the hell is this?

Strange I'm the only one who has had problems with ducks

Wonderful story.

As I am a chess player (a bad one, but I am ok because I am THE KING OF PATZERS), I developed some nice detective tactics.

I saw something in your text below

"I started to feel nervous whenever a duck gave me a glance. At first I thought I would be able to manage with that, but things started to get worse. Those ducks were getting into mind, starting to show up in my dream, making them into nightmares. I just couldn't stand such psychological pressure.

I was dubious about what to do with the farm. I didn't want to suffer more, but I had to earn a living somehow."

My conclusion for now is: YOU ARE THE USER "DUBIOUSDUCK"!!

Come on, confess now... You are the DubiousDuck.

no, isis is supposed to be a kite, not a duck.  get ur mythology right.

meanwhile, the duck has lent his glorious mug to the internet to take on ISIS the organization.

http://www.huckmagazine.com/art-and-culture/internet-takes-isis-jokers-photoshop-rubber-duck-heads-militants/

the duck stands against oppression & terrorism.

kite is just short for kitteh.