How to stay awake all night watching the Ashes

I have just completed a partial circumcision with a pair of nail clippers my plan is to dip the old John Thomas in a bowl of salt each time I doze off.  I am cofident I can stay up all night.

Can't wait England (and Wales) have just won the toss and elected to bat.  Bring it on.

As an American fan, this is one of the few times the matches are at a reasonable time for me :)

 You're having a laugh?  Ponting won't last the series.  He will be sacked before the end.

Hilfenhaus starts with a wicket maiden. Disheartening.

England will still get to 400

Looked for a live feed and I found a static picture of the field (I do believe that was the groundskeeper). Aussie humour...

So you just removed a piece of your own genitalia.

Good luck man... hope you have enough salt.

After all the threads he's had to close I'm sure he's just knocking back a few and watching the match.

Okay, is there some way I can watch the Ashes on the internet, anywhere? No way in hell to catch it on German TV. Did I actually learn the rules to this game just to never get to watch any of it?

England out on the first day for 260. Not good, but the match is still in play to be sure.

England won one year, but I am determined to let Australia win this year!

go Australia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Siddle with a hatrick and 6 wickets.

england with 517-1

England with a face-slapping innings win.

Aussies won't win an Ashes series for another decade.

England will be number 1.  What a great advertisement for the fee paying school sector.

Yes England!

Cricket, and possibly all of England, is, I believe, an elaborate hoax. 

Oops!