I just dont care anymore

I have been struggling to get back up to my old elo (About 800 close to 900 elo) and i would really appreciate any help. Ive just gotten so sick of losing and every time i do i just breakdown, im struggling to say the least. If you would be willing to coach me for free please just dm me and im sorry for taking up your time. Have a great rest of your day

A steady diet of speed chess is a recipe for no improvement.

do sum puzzles each day and make sure to spend time when doing thme (u can use lichess because it's puzzles are free)

Im trying to get my bullet rating up first, hence the reason why i play it so much

That's probably the worst possible strategy.

You should concentrate on getting better at chess first, and the way to do that is to play longer games. And solve puzzles.

Also, your strategy clearly isn't working, that's another reason to try something else.

For myself to break from 700 to 1k is from learning various openings. Maybe it'll work for you.

Also, I suggest you play rapid like 10 minutes and if you can play 15|10 or even 30 minutes.

Best just not to care. It is a game. The ratings are to match you with a person not to judge you

How do you expect to improve by moving fast and not giving yourself time to think?

I actually do think and analyze the situation, but most times its so that way i can see different responses and different ways to counter attacks that could have good impacts on the next game.

That's ok. I don't care either

I just lost a won position on time. I don't care.

Me neither.

I also don't care that I don't care

Except I care enough to state it

Take this G10 as an example.

https://www.chess.com/game/live/120349113208?username=zade_medows-1

You lost in 24 moves and still had 8:26 on the clock. How is that "thinking"?

Look if you enjoy playing speed chess that fine. But when you create a post about being frustrated with losing, and I point put the obvious. Its not to be mean, its just pointing out the obvious.

This G10:

https://www.chess.com/game/live/144474435876?username=zade_medows-1

You lost in 28 moves and still had 7:18 left on the clock. You cant think playing that fast.

https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/playing-bullet-will-improve-your-chess 
Bullet does improve your chess. You just need to play it more.

The only way you're not being judged by your rating is if you keep it a secret from everyone. Otherwise it's literally impossible not to be judged for it.

I prefer rapid over speed chess but I only play rapid on pc so I usually play speed chess

This is after i took your advice and do the longer time games. I'm not good at longer games which is why im focusing on my shorter time games currently as i said previously as well. If you are just going to be here and criticize me i would prefer you didn't, but this forum was me trying to find a chess coach. Not be ridiculed because i struggle with playing chess.

learn tactics and endgames first, the rating will catch up!

I play longer games and calculate deeper and play a lot of them to practice calculating faster