I'm completely lost... - Chess Forums - Page 3

jsmith_chess_65

Jan 5, 2026

0

#41

Norringo wrote:

Hi everyone.

I'm writing here because Im facing a big problem.

<snip> I challenged myself to improve my chess level and since then I started playing frequently and watching Youtube videos to improve my skills. And it doesn't work.

<snip>

That's it?

A proper plan might help, based on a proven program of development. Be prepared to spend a little money, if you want quality Just watching free Youtube videos isn't likely to cut it. And be forewarned... Being a good player does not necessarily make someone a good teacher, or capable of giving good advice.

There are a lot of books out there. take your timer choosing. In my opinion, the Amazon ratings are usually a pretty good indicator f quality

Thee_Ghostess_Lola

Jan 5, 2026

0

#42

have u ever been to paris ? one a the funnest things in the whole wide world to do is tell the taximan to drop u off like 2 or 3 kms from the eiffel tower. make sure u can still see it. start walking to it. along the way ? ...ull discover all sorts a cool & fun stuff to do. do them ALL !! ...iows, get lost. get completely LOST ! and revel in the fact that u are. no maps allowed.

so plz. do this for me. embrace feeling completely lost. itsa good thing. i really is ! and remember its all perspective right ?

epicfortniteamer

Jan 5, 2026

0

#43

Thee_Ghostess_Lola wrote:

have u ever been to paris ? one a the funnest things in the whole wide world to do is tell the taximan to drop u off like 2 or 3 kms from the eiffel tower. make sure u can still see it. start walking to it. along the way ? ...ull discover all sorts a cool & fun stuff to do. do them ALL !! ...iows, get lost. get completely LOST ! and revel in the fact that u are. no maps allowed.

so plz. do this for me. embrace feeling completely lost. itsa good thing. i really is ! and remember its all perspective right ?

what is a kilometer sissy liberal

HeckinSprout

Jan 5, 2026

0

#44

Norringo wrote:

Hi everyone.

I'm writing here because Im facing a big problem.

I started playing chess a few months ago, here and on lichess. I challenged myself to improve my chess level and since then I started playing frequently and watching Youtube videos to improve my skills. And it doesn't work. I'm still a bloody noob and I still lose against people who just discovered the game. It just pisses me off and I'm in a very bad mood since a few days ago. I blame myself for my miserable level and I have bad thoughts about myself because of that. When I lose a game (almost everytime), I get mad and I put myself in serious anger. I'm also harsh with my family.

Chess improvement is measured in years, not months.

I would set a realistic goal for the end of the year of +300 to 500 points in rapid. Play at least 1 game a day and thoroughly review it afterwards. You have to try to disconnect your ego from the outcome of the games because losing games is unavoidable. Even if you improve your rating over time, chess.com and lichess pair you with people you have equal odds of winning or losing. So I think the biggest factor in your improvement is working on the anger issue.

cheeseblackbelt

Jan 5, 2026

0

#45

Thee_Ghostess_Lola a écrit :

have u ever been to paris ? one a the funnest things in the whole wide world to do is tell the taximan to drop u off like 2 or 3 kms from the eiffel tower. make sure u can still see it. start walking to it. along the way ? ...ull discover all sorts a cool & fun stuff to do. do them ALL !! ...iows, get lost. get completely LOST ! and revel in the fact that u are. no maps allowed.

so plz. do this for me. embrace feeling completely lost. itsa good thing. i really is ! and remember its all perspective right ?

Who would get lost in Paris fr 🙃

user_462521798

Jan 5, 2026

0

#46

ME

Thee_Ghostess_Lola

Jan 5, 2026

0

#47

uhhh...maybe u should try eating with ur fingers ?? lol !

Norringo

Jan 6, 2026

0

#48

Thee_Ghostess_Lola a écrit :

have u ever been to paris ? one a the funnest things in the whole wide world to do is tell the taximan to drop u off like 2 or 3 kms from the eiffel tower. make sure u can still see it. start walking to it. along the way ? ...ull discover all sorts a cool & fun stuff to do. do them ALL !! ...iows, get lost. get completely LOST ! and revel in the fact that u are. no maps allowed.

so plz. do this for me. embrace feeling completely lost. itsa good thing. i really is ! and remember its all perspective right ?

Im french and I went to Paris last summer. I'll do it the next time.

Thee_Ghostess_Lola

Jan 6, 2026

0

#49

im half-french ! take half a me w/u ?? lol !

BarshufskyRocks

Jan 6, 2026

0

#50

Thee_Ghostess_Lola wrote:

pfren wrote:

Playing frequently isn't an improvement method, and watching Youtube videos is passive learning which won't work for the majority of people.

HI IM FRIEND !!

i hope all is well for u and im happy ur still alive !

he right nor-ringo. and dont play chest to win. play it to enjoy the beauty of how cmplicated it is ! ...and remember there are no mistakes ...only happy accidents.

ohhh ! and btw ? ...if this doesnt work and u still feel miserable ? ...try playing the drums. L why on earth would i not be alive

BarshufskyRocks

Jan 6, 2026

0

#51

why on earth would i not be alive

Konigsjagger

Jan 6, 2026

0

#52

just practice a lot of tactics and less games...

BarshufskyRocks

Jan 6, 2026

0

#53

stopppp

Skookum

Jan 6, 2026

0

#54

lfPatriotGames wrote:

Norringo wrote:

Hi everyone.

I'm writing here because Im facing a big problem.

I started playing chess a few months ago, here and on lichess. I challenged myself to improve my chess level and since then I started playing frequently and watching Youtube videos to improve my skills. And it doesn't work. I'm still a bloody noob and I still lose against people who just discovered the game. It just pisses me off and I'm in a very bad mood since a few days ago. I blame myself for my miserable level and I have bad thoughts about myself because of that. When I lose a game (almost everytime), I get mad and I put myself in serious anger. I'm also harsh with my family.

My problem is that, after months of working on it, I'm still a noob and I don't improve. I still do the same mistakes over and over again and I cant take it anymore. I'm at my wist's end.

I blame myself for getting myself into such a catastrophic state over a simple game, but I am unable to accept defeat and I tell myself that if I am so bad at chess, its because I am a miserable person in general and my ego takes a huge hit.

I just need help. I have dark thoughts because of that.

I know that you find it ridiculous but believe me I dont exagerate anything. I really feel a deep painful sensation in my chest in those moments and I just want to broke anyrhing that is in front of me, myself first.

I just need help. Please.

A lot of times the solution is not something you want to hear. The solution for you in this case is for you to experience an ACTUAL big problem. If you seriously believe playing chess poorly is a big problem, you have never had a big problem. Once you actually DO experience a big problem, you will then, and only then, have the experience and perspective to address your chess playing issues.

No amount of books, videos, practice, etc. is going to do the slightest bit of good until you address the core underlying issue, your priorities.

They said this so much nicer than I would have. Chess is hard you are going to lose a lot and if you cannot accept that fact then maybe should consider something else. Although, I wouldn't recommend it. Just try to be the best chess player you can be. If that's 500 rated player so be it. You have to accept yourself before you can improve yourself.

BarshufskyRocks

Jan 6, 2026

0

#55

how do you chalange yourself

RyanZ_MD

Jan 6, 2026

0

#56

Robyoman wrote:

What you can try if you have anger issues because of chess (I suffer the same fate), is playing without rating loss. If you lose a game this way, it doesn't matter as you won't lose any rating. But it isn't a magic cure fix-all, because you will be less motivated to play long-term if you're not doing it to gain ELO. The reason I recommend it anyway, is because it teaches you to not care about losing.

Agreed. That's what I do whenever I feel like I'm tilting.

schach-wunder

Jan 7, 2026

0

#57

pfren wrote:

schach-wunder wrote:

pfren wrote:

Playing frequently isn't an improvement method, and watching Youtube videos is passive learning which won't work for the majority of people.

so what does help?

Put your brain to work, simple as that. By solving puzzles, endgame studies, analyzing your games properly, reading books and interactive courses... and so on.

w speed

schach-wunder

Jan 7, 2026

0

#58

epicfortniteamer wrote:

Thee_Ghostess_Lola wrote:

have u ever been to paris ? one a the funnest things in the whole wide world to do is tell the taximan to drop u off like 2 or 3 kms from the eiffel tower. make sure u can still see it. start walking to it. along the way ? ...ull discover all sorts a cool & fun stuff to do. do them ALL !! ...iows, get lost. get completely LOST ! and revel in the fact that u are. no maps allowed.

so plz. do this for me. embrace feeling completely lost. itsa good thing. i really is ! and remember its all perspective right ?

what is a kilometer sissy liberal

a mile is 1.6km 1km is like ~3300 feet

Raymond_Parker

Jan 7, 2026

0

#59

With all due respect Sir.

I think chess is not your problem.
I went through a burnout myself after the sudden death of my father, so I can truly understand what you might be feeling right now. During that time, I also made decisions driven by strong emotions — decisions that, in hindsight, still leave me thoughtful and somewhat shaken.
Please allow me to say this with the utmost respect and care: it might really help to talk to a professional, such as a psychiatrist, who can support you through this difficult phase.

Norringo

Jan 7, 2026

0

#60

Raymond_Parker a écrit :

With all due respect Sir.

I think chess is not your problem.
I went through a burnout myself after the sudden death of my father, so I can truly understand what you might be feeling right now. During that time, I also made decisions driven by strong emotions — decisions that, in hindsight, still leave me thoughtful and somewhat shaken.
Please allow me to say this with the utmost respect and care: it might really help to talk to a professional, such as a psychiatrist, who can support you through this difficult phase.

Yes, actually I think the same. Maybe the real problem is not chess. I understand what you mean. Thank you.