I'm in a relationship with Chess and it's Complicated.

After spending quiet a long time here with Chess, I now believe I am in a relationship with Chess which I hope will last lifelong. The most interesting thing I like is the liveliness and vividness of chess.com forums. Reading the forums is more like a psychotherapy for the bored soul. Although I have not posted much in forums, I have summarized some aspects which are used as most common punch lines in these forums.

1. I love listening to lies when I know the truth. -- Most chess.com forum readers.
2. I didn't trip, I was testing gravity. It still works -- A defeated player.
3. If I say "You game is awful", then I mean it.
4. You may not like me, but Jesus thinks I'm to die for.
5. If Rybka can't find it, you are screwed. -- Most of IM, NM, GM's.
6. I like the look on the Chess-Master's face when you answer a question and they thought you weren't knowing.
7. Don't worry the world can't end today, it's already tomorrow in Chess.com servers.
8. I had rather be dumped, than cheated on --A correspondence Chess player.
9. I hate when I logon to chess.com from my closet and end up in Narnia. --Free members annoyed of Ads.
10. Let's flip a coin. Heads you're mine. Tails I'm yours. Forget it, Lets play Chess.
11. I'm bored, someone talk to me... "hey"... ohkay anyone but you!
12. You know my name not my story. -- Bobby Fischer.
13. I didn't write a whole paragraph just for you to say "lol".
14. A 100 year old vampire wants a 16 year old girl... THATS ILLEGAL!
15. I like the awkward moment when a bad Chess player calls themselves bad.
16. "Do I know you", "No", "Why did you add me?", -_-
17. Chess.com can literally make you L.O.L. in front of computer.
18. The awkward moment when someone says they don't play e4.
19. Chess players are like roses... just watch out for the pricks.
20. Being called "beautiful" on chess.com is lot better than "genius", "kickass", etc.
21. No matter how gay these "like your comment and i'll tell you.." things are, I always do it because I'm so bored.
22. I've been caught smiling at texts :| Hence, the Moderator deleted it.
23. I like the public attention after commenting, "Tennage MOM jailed after uploading Disgusting photo of her baby". You pedo!

Only the members who have never pushed a door that said "PULL" can post in this thread.

"15. I like the awkward moment when a bad Chess player calls themselves bad."

So, are you confident that never ever have you pushed a door that said "PULL" or vice-versa. I am speaking in jest because with perception rendered so ambiguous and subjective, stupidity is invited, if not actually promoted, as people in chess.com forums usually can find some verbal framework in which they may rationalize their behavior and some scapegoat or excuse to explain away their failures. That's why I like the awkward moment when a bad Chess player calls themselves bad.

Since English is not my first language(miming is), I'm guessing your point to be that when people say ambiguous, or stupid things on the forums here, it's awkward when they try to explain themselves? Is that it, or has this become an awkward moment?

Language functions not only as a communication system for a group but also as a value system which defines the mental life of the Chess.com members here and thus is a prime contributor to stupidity. On the positive side, language obviously makes it possible for people to discuss problems, processes and phenomena of which they are consciously aware. On the other hand, language also (and much more subtly) affects the process of perception and makes it so ambiguous that people can accept clear discrepancies between their beliefs and actions in many important, ego-defining situations.

Awkward moment is highly personal and depends on your level of perception. I don't know how to define it precisely, and in all possibilities our definitions may differ, and I find it perfectly alright to have a difference of opinion, which is what makes these forums so lively and vivid.

"Awkward moment is highly personal and depends on your level of perception."

So when when people see me fall down and knock over their drinks, I can say, "It's none of your business!"

I never pushed the door that said PULL. In fact, I never met a door that said anything - they were all MUTE.

Exactly, "It's none of their business". “Order is never observed; it is disorder that attracts attention because it is awkward and intrusive." Most people attach the meaning of 'awkward' with 'embarass', and the two mixed together can lead to a quiet uncherishable moment.

btw, i just lost my queen in my onging game after four shots of Vodka and am feeling really awkward now.

I had a feeling you were drinking today, manavendra, and vodka at that! Same here! But my friends here, seem to think it is their business when I knock over their drinks! They just don't get it

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the Vodka I drink I feel ashamed.  Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.  If I didn't drink this Vodka, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.  Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this Vodka and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about myself knocking over my friends drinks.

hum number 14 is questionable. there are quite a few states now where 16yr olds can get married with out parents permission.

am i a  bit  thick? because most of  what manavendra  types is incomprehensible  to me.or is he as i suspect   teetering on the  very  edge of insanity?

ahhhhhhhh just  read his comment about 4 shots of vodka. say no more !!

In fact, the only MUTE doors I know are the Revolving doors. The door maybe MUTE but the person coming from the other direction maynot be, and you then have to decide your PUSH/PUll judgementally.

Actually, read some of his other threads. You'll find out that you just made a personal attack on vodka

14. A 100 year old vampire wants a 16 year old girl... THATS ILLEGAL!

No. 14 is written in context of Chess.com forums. I regret your intentional or unintentional reference towards real life. However, in above post too, I have said, ITS ILLEGAL. Perhaps, the motivation to use the term Vampire came from my other thread "Blood Donation and Transference of Chess Skills".

I will go with your second option, "teetering on the very edge of insanity"... LOL. However, even if most of what I post is incomprehensible, I suppose all Chess players like puzzles and can make out the meaning out of it even when the post is constructed out of meaningless elements organized in pseudo-layered logic to create a unified sense of what I am trying to tell. And this is me speaking, and not my Vodka!

Very nice, manavendra. Blaming the vodka is just a guilt by association fallacy

 Nice. You should post more often. Does this mean I'm gay under the provisions of item 21? Not that there's anything wrong with that.