Impatience

This is my first post on this topic, but it has happened a couple of times while playing.  And I was wondering whether others have also experienced this situation.

I almost exclusively play standard online chess with around a 20 min time limit.  And have lost on time, a number of times.  But several times, I have been bugged to move quicker.  However, the last time I finally responded in chat as described below. 

During the game I got in the chat window:

Impatient: "move"

I did not see this as I was concentrating on my move.

Again I get:

Impatient: "move"

Finally I see, and respond: "That bugs me.  we are not playing a blitz game."

Impatient: u are to slow.

I still have around 14 minutes left so I respond:  "I think I might go get a coffee now." Thinking if they really want the win, they will have to wait a bit. 

However I focus back on the game and make my move.  Several moves later checkmate.  It was very satisfying.  I have let such comments get to me in the past, but compared to a recent post this was quite mild.  Still it is interesting how small things can influence your play.  I attached the game for those that might be interested.

That is pretty rude, since if you have 20 minutes to make a move, then you are allowed to take up the whole 20 minutes.  If someone kept doing that to me, I'd take up 19 minutes and 45 seconds to make each move, if I had the time.  But that's why I typically play 24 hours or longer per move.  There's little expectation of your opponent playing out the whole game in just an hour or so.  But if they don't want their opponent taking 20 minutes to make a move, they should play live chess.

I think I might might have a coffee LMAO i swear we must have played the same guy because I remember someone saying the same exact thing in a game once

I have had the opposite problem while playing on chess.com. What happens to me is that my opponent will usually take forever to make a simple move, thus almost forcing me to resign. I understand that my opponent has every right to take as long as he or she wants on a move, but I feel as though it is being done on purpose so that the player taking forever will eventually get the win any way they can, thus raising their rating and subsequently lowering mine. Has anyone else experienced this trouble?

If your opponent didn't notice the challenge they accepted was for a 20|0 game. When they accepted the challenge they accepted the time constraints. I suggest you remind them that you didn't make them play a 20 minute game, they chose to. Therefor they should understand that accepting a challenge or a game with certain time controls is a contract. The contract stipulates you have so many minutes to play the game. You could theoretically take up all 20 minutes on your first move, you'd lose of course but you "could" do it and there is nothing illegal or poor sportsmanship about it.

I suggest you you ignore them by disabling chat and let them decide whether they want to stay or resign the game. I wouldn't purposely stall or play games slowly to throw my opponent off of their game but on the other hand I will not be forced to move because my opponent has ADHD either. That's their problem, perhaps they should learn what chess time controls are all about.

I don't believe in ethics so I would say play a small time game or learn to control you impatience. Your opponent has every right to use any tool available to win, the amount of time is one of them. A similar strategy, way less rude, is not making a secure treat move just to get your opponent anxious about it. Chess is a sport of mental endurance and practice above being a game of logic thinking.

Now we're talking my kind of chess!