Is there a performing enhancing drugs for chess players?

I've been playing for 10 years but I'm still a patzer. So I was thinking if there were any drugs that could increase my chess quotient and general intelligence.  I mean wouldn't it be great to wake up a super grandmaster that could even beat Magnus.

Gingko Biloba, Lecithin, Vitamin E.

Viagra users claim that Viagra helps them in their mating positions.

Aspirin. Prevent headache from overthinking

Chinese Food (human growth hormones)

I recommend a drug called obsession..

Almond milk.

Try to have flexible brain. That's enough for chess. 

Squeeze 7 lemons and drink it all bottoms up. Better than orange juice Carlsen drinks.

Now that's funny. Really bad pun, but funny.

Alkazeltser works wonder. Stomach discomfort is common reason of under par chess play.

meth

The purpose of PED for chess players is to perform on par. Over par Performance is impossible as the player can perform with his chess knowledge only.. Did you study Endgame? Advanced Tactics? Advanced Strategy? Lastly how deep is your Opening?

What will you do with my account? Attack other members?