isn't it funny how the queen moves fast on a board that looks like a kitchen floor?

the only woman on the board is also the piece that can move the fastest on a board that looks like a kitchen floor

I can hear it callin'
Loving the way you wanna talk
Touch me, tease me, feel me up
Callin'
Something in the way you wanna talk

You got me sayin', you got me sayin'
How you doing?
Tell me, what's your name? (What's your name?)
What's your sign?
Feeling like you are into me
Yeah I'm waiting
I just want you to come on over
Where I'm staying

Falling for a stranger
Good gracious
I might even fly out to Vegas (catch a flight)
I'm thinking maybe you'd be down to do it
But you don't know what I'm saying (saying)

Got me going through the roof (roof)
Really don't care what we do (do)
We could fly to the moon
I see your lips moving
But we ain't got a clue

Baby we're two distant strangers
I know you don't speak my language
But I love the way she's talking to me (talking to me)

I can hear it callin'
From where you are
Loving the way you wanna talk
Touch me, tease me, feel me up
Touch me, tease me, feel me up

Call me when it's after dark
Something in the way you wanna talk
Touch me, tease me, feel me up
Touch me, tease me, feel me up

Max, max, max
We can have it all (to the max)
If you back, back, back, back, back it up (back it up)
I take you where you wanna get the gas in the tank (wow)
If you really wanna make it last (git, git, git)

Talk's cheap, I'm about that action ('bout that action)
Girl, can you feel the attraction?
Baby, come closer, I got what you want
I can tell that you want it there's no need to front

Baby, we two distant strangers
I know you don't speak my language
But I love the way she's talking to me (talking to me)

I can hear it callin'
From where you are
Loving the way you wanna talk
Touch me, tease me, feel me up
Touch me, tease me, feel me up

Call me when it's after dark
Something in the way you wanna talk
Touch me, tease me, feel me up
Touch me, tease me, feel me up

Ooh, tell me babe
Tell me how you like it babe
I don't even know your name
I love the way you're talking to me

Ooh, tell me babe
Tell me how you like it babe
I don't even know your name
I love the way you're talking to me

Girl, the way you move
You can feel my eyes on you, ooh-ooh
Do it like nobody do, ooh
Tell me what you wanna hear
Let me whisper in your ear
I just wanna have you here, yeah

Okay, baby make it fast (make it fast right)
We could put the country on the map (put it on the map)
Run it back, you gon' have me running laps (running laps)
I just, I just want you to make it clap

One at a time, baby you're mine
Promise that you'll never give it away
I need a sign
Calling me up, calling me yours
Calling my line
Doing what you're doing to me baby it's a crime

I can hear it callin'
From where you are
Loving the way you wanna talk (love the way you talk)
Touch me, tease me, feel me up
Touch me, tease me, feel me up

Call me when it's after dark (don't be late)
Something in the way you wanna talk
Touch me, tease me, feel me up
Touch me, tease me, feel me up

Ooh, tell me babe
Tell me how you like it babe
I don't even know your name
I love the way you're talking to me

Ooh, tell me babe
Tell me how you like it babe
I don't even know your name
I love the way you're talking to me

huh... 

The fact that this post has been up for 10 hours once again proves how useless Chess.com's mods are

What a joke

I've noticed more and more threads like this popping up, and they are up for a very long time. There was a thread just last week (one that if I even described its content, I would probably get banned) that wasn't taken down for almost 2 days

Please be relevant and kind...

The pattern is generally described as checkerboard tiles and are a timeless design used in floors and walls in various areas, not just kitchens.

PS The OP wording seems somewhat misogynistic.

PPS on the checkerboard it is the kings that have the most mobility (vs the normal men).

Lol it is a lot more than somewhat misogynistic 

???

hmm I'm surprised you would recognize one... or even knew women existed at all

i...

For more than 1000 years, the "queen"  was a male, not a female. The rules for the queen were written  when the  "queen" was not a royal figure. That is why "she"  does not have  royal privilages,  such as calling check and castling.   The firzan  (or other male figure)   was changed to a female , in Europe , when chess became popular in European  countries.    

The "queen" was originally the "mantri", i.e. the king's prime minister.

Actually the "queen" was called the "farzin" and was male and could only move one square in a diagonal way, and then switch gender into a "queen" therefore the "queen" is transgendered. 

That's after the game left India, the land where it was invented.
In India, that piece was called the mantri. This long predated the Persianate and Islamicate culture, which replaced the term with "farzin".

yeah and why is the king (a man) the most important piece???

i have no idea what women are. i just heard someone else make this joke