Jokes

DEVIL IN THE MIRROR

Back in grade school, did you ever get dares from your friends?  Like, go kiss that girl, I DARE YA.  That’s a pretty wide crevasse right there. But I betchya can’t jump across it, I DARE YA! 

One year, maybe a few days before Halloween, one friend of mine said, ‘Do you know what, if you go into the bathroom and turn out the light, if you stare long enough in the mirror, you’ll see the Devil! I DARE YA!’ I thought, yeah right. Sure. So like any doubting 12-year-old, I had to try it.

Went in, turned out the light, everything was totally dark. No Devil. Well, he said if you stare long enough in the mirror. So I stared.  And waited, and stared some more. Soon my eyes became a little more adjusted to the darkness and I DID begin to see something. It was my dark, shadowy face in the bathroom mirror. But the Devil? No Devil yet.

I waited and waited, and was about to give up when I noticed, just barely in the darkness, the doorknob was turning ever so slowly. But I had nothing to fear, I had it locked for my little experiment. Soon I started hearing a slow, rhythmic knocking sound . . . I started getting claustrophobic in the dark, started to feel uncomfortable and sweat little bullets. Damn, I thought, my friend was right, this just might very well be the Devil and the beating of its Telltale Heart!  But still nothing in the mirror besides my shadowy reflection.

Then a hideous voice began to threaten me, saying slowly, ‘If you don’t get out of that room immediately, I’ll drag you through a bed of fiery coals and make your butt feel like HELL!!!’

This really, really scared me so I unlocked the door slowly and opened it. There before me it stood with curlers in its scraggly, demonic hair, malodorous venom foaming  and smoke rising from its foul, cigarette-laden mouth, wearing a long, crimson Satanic robe . . . THE SHE-DEVIL!!!!!!

‘OK, Mom, it’s all yours!’