Jokes


A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.After about an hour the Manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why?" they asked as they moved off."Because"he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer".

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.After about an hour the Manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse."But why?" they asked as they moved off."Because"he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer".
Had to read it 3 times to catch the joke, but then funny deluxe

Why do the japanese girls have their panties down, what is happening here ? Please explanation or link...

A father is explaining ethics to his son,who is about to go into business."Suppose a woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars of material .You wrap it up and you give it to her.She pays you with a $100 bill.But as she goes out the door you realise she's given you two $100 bills.Now here's where the ethics come in:should you or should you not tell your partner?"

A dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give a man an injection."No way.No needles.I hate needles" the patient said.The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man says "I can't do the gas thing" The thought of having a gas mask on suffocates me."The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objections to taking a pill."No objection" he says.I'm fine with pills".The dentist gives him a couple of pills.He swallows them."What are they ?" he says."Viagra" says the dentist."Heck" the patient says"I didn't know Viagra worked as a painkiller." "It doesn't "says the dentist."But it wil give you something to hold on to when I pull out your tooth".

On the charge of manslaughter how do you plead? Man coughs and says, guilty.
On the charge of grievous bodily harm how do you plead? The man coughs and says, guilty.
The judge breaks off and says "look do you want to suck on a 'fishermans friend?'"
The man says "do you not think I'm in enough trouble already?"
(It's bad when you have to explain a joke, but if you don't have fishermans friends in your country you won't get it..... they are a sweet for coughs)
"My wife says she will leave me if I play in the tournament nest weekend", I told my friend.
He asks, "What will you do?"
Same as always, "E4"

Long long ago a pair of characters by name of Kaitje and Lammie(Kaitje's wife) were a couple who
were so poor that they had to make a home anywhere they could.So they settled in
the near vicinity of Table Mountain in Capetown South Africa where they pitched a tent.
One night Konstabel van der Westhuizen was patrolling near the base of Table Mountain
when he heard a great commotion coming from within the Tent. Curious to find out the
reason he approached the tent and opened the flap.In the tent dimly lit by a miners lamp
he saw the couple in the throes of passionate loving."Wat maak jy? het die Konstabel gevra.
Ag Konstabel het Kaitjie gese .Ons was net 'n bietjie "necking". " Dit is nie waar nie "het die Konstabel geantwoord."Steek jou nek in jou broek terug en kom saam met my."