Make up a (dumb) opening and name it!

The Anti-Religion Attack

Salt Fortress Opening

I actually play this as white sometimes, though I didn't give it a name.

The Oh Man, En Passant! opening.

The Confused Queen Opening, Bad Black Variation

The Confused Queen Opening, Threatened Queen Variation

The Confused Queen Opening, Secret Sacrifice Variation

Medieval French Defense

actually I didn't make this up, but it is not well known outside of academic circles.

ben cloud opening

RandomGameWhereSlowBishopsDemolishThings Opening

The DangItIMissclickedButIStillWantToCastle opening

I like it.

The Excited Pawns opening

The Los Angeles Football Team Opening.

The FK you opening

Chirality

I think it's known as the Knights Dream.

Scandanavian defense: mass gambit declined